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7 Sel Tips that Help Chidren Learn to Self-Regulate

9/22/2022

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(Written with Marjorie Wild)
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We want to help you lead the school year with SEL (social emotional learning)!

According to the Leading with SEL Coalition facilitated by CASEL:
“If you believe every child deserves...
  • A quality education that recognizes their unique needs
  • Opportunities to develop skills needed for academic success and fulfilling careers
  • Teachers who care about them
  • To feel safe and welcome in their schools
  • Schools that provide students the resources they need to reach their full potential
  • Instruction that motivates and engages them
  • An honest and accurate education to help create a better future
Then you are an SEL leader!”

  • If your children are “ready to learn because they trust their teacher, know they’re cared about, & feel comfortable asking for help,” you are an SEL leader!
  • If your children feel “connected to classmates and see the community as a place where they belong,” you are an SEL leader!

As SEL leaders, we help children develop many social-emotional skills.  This month we thought we'd focus on self-regulation, sharing some of our favorite tips.

1.  Keep in mind that we are all works in progress, children and adults alike!

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​We adults have our own struggles with self-regulation, like controlling our emotions when we are tired, frustrated, feeling misunderstood, or when children’s challenging behaviors trigger our emotional buttons!

We all have moments when our own self-control is challenged - and sometimes that is precisely when children need our guidance the most!  When children’s behaviors “push our buttons,”  we must calm ourselves before we can effectively guide them toward self-regulation..

What can you do to regain your composure?
  • Practice mindfulness and calming when you are challenged by big emotions.
  • Model calm behavior when you are with children.
  • Take three deep breaths and tell yourself, “I am safe, I am calm, I can handle this.” (Dr. Becky Bailey, Founder of Conscious Discipline®) 

To read more on topics such as Mindfulness, Self-Regulation, and the Power of Positive Guidance, see our previous blog posts.

2.  ​ Build children’s vocabulary of feeling words!

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When we provide words for children’s feelings, we are giving them tools to manage their emotions and their behavior.  We may even be boosting our own emotional intelligence by building our feelings vocabulary.

Don’t be afraid to use big words with children.  Go beyond happy, sad, mad, and scared.  Help children understand exhilarated, dejected, exasperated, wary, and others.
A feelings chart can be a helpful tool for children to identify and understand different emotions.  Search online for free printable feelings charts for your classroom.

Besides building a feelings vocabulary, you can use feelings charts in several other ways:
  • As a check-in: “How are you feeling right now?”
  • To help children identify the feelings of others:  Use the feelings chart to discuss how other children, adults, and characters in stories may be feeling
  • To help children recognize triggers: Use the chart to help children remember situations that triggered certain emotions. “When did you feel ---?” 
  • To help children develop strategies to handle strong feelings: “What could you do when you feel ---?”

Our own book and toy set, EEPWORM’s Emotional Day, is another tool for building a feelings vocabulary.   We provide 15 different feelings words in our note for parents and teachers to guide your discussion about the emotions in the story.   
You can watch story times of both our eepworm® books on YouTube at (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_WzmpQIN_N8bTgPHX2U72w​).
The notes to parents and teachers are included only in our printed books (available for purchase at our online store at https://www.earlychildhoodspecialties.com/store.html).

​3.  Recognize how gradually self-regulation develops!

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Young children don’t already know how to self-regulate when they join a school or child care setting.   They may not yet have the ability or the communication skills to let us know what is wrong, much less to handle it appropriately. Our primary responsibility as caring adults is to meet the basic physical and emotional needs of young children. At first, children need our constant support.

For a helpful description of self-regulation, see this short video from Empowered to Connect:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INGgzIO7vOY 

Eventually children learn to behave appropriately more of the time, even without us.  This process of self-regulation happens very gradually from infancy to young adulthood, and it requires lots - and lots - of guidance and practice.

Self-regulation takes such a long time because of all the skills involved and because it depends on the children's developing social, emotional, and cognitive skills.  Here are some examples of self-regulation skills that children learn over time:

  • Taking turns
  • Following directions
  • Using words to communicate
  • Staying on task
  • Ignoring distractions
  • Inhibiting impulsivity
  • Planning one’s actions
  • Reflecting on one’s thinking
  • Cooperating with others
  • Demonstrating empathy
For their emotional development and well-being, children need lots of help from adults to learn to self-regulate.  Our role is to build children's capacity for self regulation.  We provide this "capacity-building" not only through direct instruction, but also through the many ways we support children's social emotional learning.

-Follow Early Childhood Specialties on social media for tips on how to help children learn and practice self-regulation and healthy social and emotional skills.
-See our previous blog posts on self-regulation 
-Share with us your thoughts and experiences about self-regulation!

4.  Support children’s self-regulation with fun movement activities!

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​Self-regulation is a complex process that allows children to appropriately respond to their environment. It helps them manage their emotions, thoughts and behavior. 
Keep in mind that self-regulation:
-Develops gradually
-Includes physical, emotional, behavioral and cognitive (thinking) skills
-Takes lots of practice and repeated learning opportunities
-Requires intentional planning by teachers, caregivers and parents.

Following directions is one  of the self-regulation skills that develop over time and with experiences. Music and movement activities are a fun way to help young children learn and practice self-regulation. 

​Here are a few to try:
  • Practice following directions by playing activity songs like Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, or Going on a Bear Hunt. These activities encourage children to move their bodies, listen and move based on what they hear, process and follow directions, and be aware of how their bodies move through space and in relation to others. 
  • Make a game of moving to music and “freezing” when the music stops.  Adding visual cues about positions to take helps children plan.

Over time, fun activities such as these improve overall listening skills, planning when to move and when to stop, and self-regulation. Playing interactive games with your children also increases emotional connection! Having your children watch a video version of activity songs is a missed opportunity to connect and communicate - get active with them instead!

We probably don’t need to remind you that songs, games, and social emotional activities are not a break from learning in classroom settings. They are an age-appropriate way to teach young children self-regulation skills essential to learning in any environment.  Rest assured that when you provide these fun experiences you are indeed helping children learn valuable skills!

Share with us your favorite fun ways to help young children learn to follow directions!

5.  Create a climate conducive to the 4 C’s!

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The climate in the classroom, home, or caregiving setting should be one of loving support, safety and acceptance. Young children will learn and thrive when adults control the climate, keeping in mind the 4C’s!

Our own model, The 4 C’s Framework of Emotional Support, can guide adults in giving children what they need both when they are upset and when they are calm. 

The first 3 C's are things children need when they are distressed: connection, calming and compassion.
  • - To connect with children, stay close!  If the child is comforted by touch, hug them, rub their back or stroke their hair. If touch doesn't calm the child, get on their level and stay within an arm's length.
  • -To calm an upset child, first we must remain calm or regain calmness ourselves. Model calming strategies such as breathing exercises, sensory engagement,  or movement.
  • -Show compassion by offering to help the child deal with the feeling.  Let them know "I'm here to help." 

​The 4th C is capacity-building of self-regulation. When children are calm and ready to learn, adults can build their capacity for self-regulation and resilience by teaching them what to do instead and applying other strategies and environmental supports to help them handle future challenges.
 
To learn more about our 4 C’s Framework of Emotional Support:
  • Contact Us.
  • See our previous blog posts on emotional support
  • Follow Early Childhood Specialties on social media for ongoing tips for supporting young children's social-emotional learning!

6.  Teach children self-regulation skills, such as following directions!

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​Following directions can be considered a self-regulation skill, but before children can follow directions, they may need specific instruction to learn what is being asked of them. One example that Diane and I (Marjorie) talked about recently was “lining up”. 
Typically that is not something children need to know at home, or prior to coming to school. It is something that children are expected to “know”, or quickly learn when they begin school, or in any group childcare setting. Teach what lining up means and why we do it: to walk down the hall, to stay safely together with our class, to take turns at the water fountain or slide… 

Try these activities to teach, support and practice following the direction to “Line up!”  
  • Place footprints or spots in a line leading toward the main exit door
  • Place a line of tape on the floor where the children typically line up or walk
  • Play Follow the Leader on the playground, naming “around the tree”, “through the gate”, etc.
  • Line up stuffed animals or blocks (also talk about positions first, second, third when appropriate)
  • Practice making a “train” or musical conga line during music and movement
  • Make a math lesson of “what is a line?”, connecting two locations with ribbon or chalk
  • Art activities: straight lines, curvy lines, draw lines in sand or shaving cream, make lines with play-dough
  • The child who is last in line can have a special title, like caboose, or a job, like closing the door. 
  • Call students to line up using different cues, such as “If you are wearing a blue shirt, line up.” Continuing until everyone is in line.

Share with us your favorite ways to teach children to “Line Up”!
How can you add learning, variety and fun to this routine activity?

7.  Model self-regulation skills, such as showing self-compassion!

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​Showing self-compassion means accepting our own limitations, giving ourselves credit for how far we have come toward a goal, or that it is time to rest and recharge until another day. 

When we show self-compassion, we are  not only improving our outlook on our own lives; we are also providing a model for children learning to show compassion to themselves and others.

We can model and verbalize acceptance of our efforts and abilities: “We practiced really hard today!” “I did the best I could!”

We can be the voice encouraging young children until they can provide their own voice of encouragement and self-compassion.

After all, children are soaking up the how-to’s of life from the models they see and hear.  It’s not always a “lesson” or an intentional response that leads children to develop social and emotional skills. 

Showing self-compassion has other benefits for us and our children as well.  How we see ourselves and accept our own limitations have much to do with how we treat others, whether we are willing to try new things, and how we continue to learn throughout our lives. 

-Show self-compassion at the end of the day by thinking of things you did – even the smallest steps.

-Share how to do this positive reflection by talking with your children about things they did, learned, or practiced that day. 

-How can you show self-compassion using positive language?


References & Resources
Conscious Discipline. (n.d.) https://consciousdiscipline.com/consciousdiscipline.com/
Devereux Center for Resilient Children (DCRC).  (n.d.). https://centerforresilientchildren.org/ 
Leading with SEL. (2022). Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning. leadingwithsel.org/
​What is Self Regulation? (Mar 29, 2022).  Empowered to Connect.  www.youtube.com/watch?v=INGgzIO7vOY
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7 Strategies That Help Children Develop Self-Regulation

6/25/2022

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In last month's blog post, I introduced the first 3 "C's" in my 4 C's Framework of Emotional Support.  These 3 C's - connection, calming and compassion - are supports children especially need when they are distressed.
Now I'd like to share strategies for the 4th C, which is the support children need when they are calm and ready to learn:  Capacity-building of self-regulation.

The 4 C's Framework of Emotional Support 

I developed this model after learning from brain research and experts in child development, psychology and psychiatry, as well as from my own experience teaching young children and parenting a child with mental health special needs.  What I've learned through many years is the different needs children have for adult support, depending on their emotional state.  When children are distressed, they need to feel connected, to have help calming down, and to be treated with empathy and compassion.
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But these first 3 C's in my model are only part of the support children need to develop self-regulation.  They also require help from adults so they can learn how to handle the next upsetting situation more adaptively.  That's where the second part of the framework fits in - the fourth C.
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The 4th C: Capacity-Building of Self-Regulation

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An important part of our job is to teach children social and emotional skills along with academic concepts.  Children do their best learning when they are emotionally calm, so that's when we should be teaching them what they need to know, whether it is social, emotional, cognitive, language, or physical skills and concepts.
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For their emotional development and well-being, children need lots of help from adults to learn to self-regulate.  Our role is to build children's capacity for self regulation.  We provide this "capacity-building" not only through direct instruction, but also through the many ways we support children's social emotional learning. The goal is to help children become better able to handle emotionally challenging situations.  
Many of the developmentally appropriate practices we use in the early childhood classroom help to build children's capacity for self-regulation.  Strengthening relationships, teaching self-regulation and social skills, helping children to learn about feelings, and modeling self-regulation skills are ways to provide capacity-building strategies.  In addition, sometimes we need to adjust our expectations of individual children's behaviors, accommodating possible developmental delays in executive functioning or self-regulation skills.  Sometimes we may also need to adjust the environment, providing supports that make it more likely that children can navigate challenging situations. We do this when we ensure our environments are developmentally appropriate for all our children. It's helpful to include: predictable schedules with adequate warnings before transitions; a self-regulation or calming space where children can go to settle themselves down; and a variety of soothing sensory activities (5). 

Let's look more closely at seven strategies for building children's capacity for self-regulation.

​1.  CONNECT
Connecting when children are calm  is different than providing connection when they are distressed. The goal is to build and strengthen the relationships by engaging in what I call "connecting activities."  These are enjoyable games that include emotional warmth, close contact, and playfulness (adapted from Bailey, 2015).  To really connect, children need to feel we enjoy being with them.  We must also be on their level and physically close, using eye contact and touch if that is comforting.  Connecting activities should also include an element of fun for everyone!
(See our blog posts on connecting games and resources 2, 3 for examples of activities.)
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​2.  TEACH Self-Regulation Skills
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The time to teach children calming techniques such as deep breathing and other mindfulness practices is when they are calm.  (See our blog posts on mindfulness and resource 7 for calming activities for children.)

​In addition, children need to learn the specific self-regulation and social skills  that are challenging them.  These include:  Taking turns, following directions, using words to communicate, and many others.  (See our blog post on games that build self-regulation for examples of skills that children learn over time with adult help.)
Just as with other concepts and skills, we can scaffold our instruction of self-regulation and social skills.  We can be specific on what it means to take turns or which words to use in which situation.  We can coach the children (include all those involved in the situation), walking them through the behaviors you are teaching.  Later, we can provide prompts or visual cues to remind them of the expectations and provide encouragement for their efforts. Of course, they'll also need lots of practice!
3.  MODEL Appropriate Behavior
If we want children to learn self-regulation skills, we need to practice our own in front of them.  We can do this by narrating our own thoughts and actions; this is called "self-talk."  To provide this support, talk aloud when making decisions or problem-solving.  Narrate your thinking when a frustrating situation arises, sharing how you are feeling and what you are doing to stay calm or regain your composure. 
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We can also narrate children's efforts to self-regulate.  This is called parallel talk.  An example:  "You started to get frustrated when you couldn't get the puzzle piece to fit.  You took a few deep breaths, and then you were ready to try turning it a different way."  
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4.  Provide STRUCTURE and Predictability
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All young children need predictable daily schedules so they know what to expect.  And all children benefit from knowing when transitions are coming and what they will need to do. Some children, however, have a delay in the self-regulation skill called cognitive flexibility (6).  They are unable to shift gears from one activity to the next without at least some help from an adult.  Imagine that these children are like a wheelchair-bound child at the bottom of the stairs.  We wouldn't say to the child, "In 5 minutes you need to meet me at the top of the stairs."  Rather, we would provide a ramp and push the child's wheelchair up the ramp.  
5.  Play GAMES that Help Children To Stop and Think
Children who are delayed in the skill of flexibility likewise need our support to accommodate their needs.  These children need extra warnings before transitions that help them plan for the next activity, especially when transitioning from something fun to something that's not so fun. When we break the tasks down into smaller steps, we can help children get successfully through the change in activities. Here's an example: 
  • "It's 10 minutes before cleanup, how can you get to a stopping point in your block building?"
  • "It's 5 minutes until cleanup, which blocks will you put away, these or those? (Giving 2 positive choices is helpful.)
  • "It's cleanup time, time to put away away the blocks you chose."​​​
We know that children learn best through play.  Research shows that playing games that get children to stop and think are especially helpful for the development of self-regulation skills (9).  One example is singing the song "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" but having children point to different body parts than the ones in the song: "When I sing 'head', put your hands on your toes. When I sing 'shoulders', put your hands on your knees..."
See the blog post on self-regulation for 11 games that develop self-regulation.)
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6.  Adjust your E's- Your EXPECTATIONS and the ENVIRONMENT
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​Part of building children's capacity for self-regulation means making it more likely that they will be successful.  Sometimes that means we need to adjust our expectations of individual children's behaviors or adjust the environment - or both.
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Children who have difficulty with self-regulation have lagging skills in key skills:  flexibility, adaptability, frustration tolerance and problem-solving (6).  Research shows that children with ADHD have a 30% delay in self- regulation (also known as executive functioning), and children who have experienced early trauma have a 50% delay.  
So we must accommodate these children's developmental delays in self-regulation.  We may need to adjust our expectations of these children's ability to follow directions, take turns, stay on task, and other self-regulation skills.  As an example, perhaps they can leave circle time sooner, or at least take a break or have a fidget toy or wiggle cushion to help them move while listening.

Secondly, sometimes we need to adjust the environment.  Children with sensory processing problems often become overwhelmed by sensory input, that is, by the sounds, lights, smell, and touches they experience in the environment.  So we may need to accommodate these hypersensitive children by adjusting the sound and light level, providing more comforting, enclosed spaces and including a greater variety of sensory activities and materials in our classrooms.  Using visual cues such as picture schedules may also be helpful.  (See resource 7 for examples.)
7.  Help Children REFLECT on their Feelings and Learn to CALM Themselves
We build children's capacity for self-regulation when we  provide opportunities for children to learn about their feelings.  We can talk with our children about the different feelings we all have and help them label those feelings. We can boost their vocabularies and their self-understanding when we use lots of different words, not just the basic happy, sad, mad and scared.  (Search for lists of feelings words for children to get some ideas.)
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We can also help children recognize what other children may be feeling during a specific situation. We can tell social stories using real situations, talk about pictures of different feelings, play games with feelings faces such as lotto and memory games, and discuss feelings as we read books.​
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There are many books  that help children reflect on their feelings and the feelings of others.  Be sure to check out our own eepworm books and toys!  When reading with children, talk about the emotions the characters experience and how to recognize them. 

​As mentioned before, we can teach children calming techniques such as deep breathing and other mindfulness practices to help children learn to calm themselves.  We can also provide a self-regulation center or calming space so children can practice these techniques when they get upset.  This is good for all children, not just the ones who have difficulty with self-regulation.  (See our blog posts on mindfulness and resource 7 for activities for children.)

I hope you've gained some strategies that help you build children's capacity for self-regulation.  Let me know which ones work best for you.  Any additional tips are welcome as well - we can all learn from one another!

References & Resources

  1. Bailey, B. (2015) Conscious discipline; Building resilient classrooms (expanded & updated ed.). Oviedo, FL: Loving Guidance, Inc.  
  2. Bailey, B.A.  (2000).  I love you rituals.  New York:  HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
  3. Bailey, B.A. & Harmon, M.  Songs for I Love You Rituals: Vol.1 & 2.  Available at https://consciousdiscipline.com/
  4. Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2014). Activities Guide: Enhancing and Practicing Executive Function Skills with Children from Infancy to Adolescence  https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/activities-guide-enhancing-and-practicing-executive-function-skills-with-children-from-infancy-to-adolescence/ 
  5. Gillespie, L.G., & Seibel, N. (2006). Self-regulation: A cornerstone of early childhood development. Young children, 61(4), 34-39.
  6. Greene, R. (n.d.) Walking tour for parents. Lives in the Balance.  https://www.livesinthebalance.org/ 
  7. ​Head Start Center for Inclusion. (n.d.). Classroom visuals and supports.  http://headstartinclusion.org/tools-and-supports/classroom-visuals-and-supports/#visual 
  8. Mind Yeti.  Hello, Breath.  https://mindyeti.com  Also available at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiaUKiwbiHMQDQLCXoPaMMYotldKlUQCw
  9. Tominey, S. & McClelland, M. (2011). Red Light, Purple Light: Findings from a randomized trial using circle time games to improve behavioral self-regulation in preschool. Early education and development. 22. 489-519.
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Supporting Children When They Are Distressed:  3 "C'S" they Really Need From Us

5/24/2022

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When young children are upset, they usually need help from adults to calm down.  And the more upset they are, the more help they need!

When children are distressed, acting out, or having a tantrum or a meltdown, they don't often know what to do.  Sometime as adults we don't know what to do, either!  We may try distraction ("Look at this book"), reassurance ("You're okay"), questioning ("Why are you crying?),  reasoning ("We have to clean up so we can have our snack") or consequences ("You need to be by yourself until you can calm down").  Unfortunately, these efforts don't always work as well as we'd like.

Brain research  and experts in child development, psychology and psychiatry show us a better way (1, 2, 4, 7).  To handle their upset, children need three things from adults:  Connection, help with calming, and to be treated with empathy and compassion.  In my Framework of Emotional Support, I call these the 3 C's.  Let's look at strategies for each of the 3 C's.

Connection​

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Brain research tell us that "the single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult” (2).

To connect with children, stay close!  If the child is comforted by touch, by all means hug them, rub their back or stroke their hair. If touch doesn't calm the child, get on their level and stay within an arm's length.

​Here are two more strategies for connecting with upset children:

  • ​Show pictures of people being cared for or hugged.  Research show this diminishes the fight, flight or freeze response (5).
  • Try singing.!  Here's an example from my preschool classroom:  The children enjoyed reading the book,  Love You Forever by Robert Munsch,  In the story there's a song about a parent's unconditional love ("I'll love you forever / I'll like you for always / As long as I'm living / My baby you'll be.") I made up my own ending to the song to comfort children in my class:  “As long as you need me / Your helper I’ll be”​

Calming

​Calming  is part of co-regulation, the adult strategies we use to help children manage overwhelming emotions.

To calm an upset child, first we must remain or regain calmness ourselves.  This is sometimes easier said than done if the child's behavior is triggering our own upset!  But there are several calming strategies we can apply to ourselves and to children:
  • Take deep breaths. Research shows that deep breathing slows the heartbeat, lowers or stabilizes blood pressure and lowers stress.
  • Think positive.  If we are thinking, “this kid is driving me crazy, then they will.  If we think instead, “she is doing the best she can.  I know how to help” then we can!​
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  • Be mindful.  Focus on the here and now.   Notice your body and your surroundings.
  • Get curious.  Ask yourself about your feelings and the child’s: How am I feeling?  Why? What does this child need from me right now?
  • Engage the senses.  Focus on what you are seeing, touching, hearing, smelling, and/or tasting.
  • Move!  Research shows that strenuously using the large muscles in the body helps to reduce the stress chemicals released during upset, which then helps us calm.

Compassion

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The first step in showing compassion is to give empathy.  Let children know that you understand how they are feeling.  Notice without judging; communicate that all feelings are acceptable.

Give empathy according to the child’s state of mind:  
When a child is acting out physically (flailing on the floor, hitting, throwing, etc.), reflect what their body is doing:  "Your face is going like this..."

When children are crying, name-calling, whining, threatening, notice what you think they are feeling:  "You seem angry."

When children are complaining about the problem, commiserate with what they are saying:  "It's hard when..."
After giving empathy, show compassion by offering to help the child deal with the feeling.  Let them know "I'm here to help."  Your job is to help them deal with the feeling, not to "give in" to what the child wanted that started their upset.

I hope these strategies help you support upset children with the  3 C's of connection, calming, and compassion.

Later, when children are calm and ready to learn, we can provide the other support they need.  We can build their capacity for self-regulation and resilience by teaching them what to do instead and applying other strategies and environmental supports to help them handle future challenges.  Watch for the next blog post for information about this fourth "C'.".

References and Resources:

  1. ​Bailey, B. (2015) Conscious discipline; Building resilient classrooms (expanded & updated ed.). Oviedo, FL: Loving Guidance, Inc.  
  2. Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (n.d.) Key concepts:  Resilience https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/  developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/
  3. Gillespie, L. G., & Seibel, N. (2006). Self-regulation: A cornerstone of early childhood development. Young children, 61(4), 34-39.
  4. Greene, R. (n.d.) Walking tour for parents. Lives in the Balance.  https://www.livesinthebalance.org/ 
  5. Norman, L et al., 2015. Attachment-security priming attenuates amygdala activation to social and linguistic threat.  Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience,10 (6), 832–839. https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/10/6/832/1734249
  6. Rice, M. (2012). Understanding the importance of self-regulation for preschoolers. Innovations and Perspectives. Virginia Commonwealth University.
  7. YouTube.  (2012, Feb 28). Dan Siegel - Connecting to Calm. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV3hp_eaoiE
  8. YouTube.  (2020, Mar 17). Hello Breath:  Listen.  Mind Yeti ​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIPMk9qHJBQ&list=PLiaUKiwbiHMQDQLCXoPaMMYotldKlUQCw&index=2
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11 Connecting Games that Build Self-Regulation

12/22/2020

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Would you like to build children's self-regulation skills while strengthening your relationship and having fun?  Check out these games!

First, here's a little info about self-regulation:

Self-regulation is a complex process that allows children to appropriately respond to their environment. In other words, it helps them manage their emotions, thoughts and behavior. 
It's an active, intentional process that:
  • Develops gradually
  • Includes physical, emotional, behavioral and cognitive (thinking) skills
  • Takes lots of practice and repeated learning opportunities
  • Requires intentional planning by the teacher

Here are some examples of self-regulation skills that children learn over time:

  • Taking turns
  • Following directions
  • Using words to communicate
  • Staying on task
  • Ignoring distractions
  • Inhibiting impulsivity
  • Planning one’s actions
  • Reflecting on one’s thinking
  • Cooperating with others
  • Demonstrating empathy
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And now, 11 Games that Develop Self-Regulation:

Most  of these games come from:  Tominey & McClelland (2011). Red light, purple light: Findings from a randomized trial using circle time games to improve behavioral self-regulation in preschool.  Early Education and Development, 22 (3). This research study shows that playing certain games helps children develop self-regulation skills. Try one of these or play any game that helps children stop and think, such as Simon Says. Just make it fun!
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Relaxation Games
  • Sinking Activity – Tell children to imagine that their bodies are very heavy and sinking to the floor, (guided relaxation)
  • Breathing Buddies – Children take deep breaths, lying on their backs with a stuffed animal on their bellies
  • “Eeping On” – Gently bounce a soft fidget toy on the child’s body
Refocusing Games
  • Clapping Exercise – Use a series of claps with a certain pattern
  • Conducting an Orchestra - Wave a conductor’s baton quickly or slowly and have children play instruments accordingly
  • Drum Beats – Give directions for children to move a certain way when you beat the drum
  • Elephant Stampede – Direct the children to mimic sounds of elephants close or far away
Picture
Picture
Behavioral Regulation Games
  • Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders – Change up the parts to point to as you sing the song.  Have children point to one body part when you name another.
  • The Freeze Game – Children dance and freeze into position when the music stops
  • Mirror Game - Children take turns making different faces for a partner to imitate
  • Sleep, Sleep! – Direct children to pretend to sleep then wake up as different animals
Have fun playing, connecting, and building self-regulation skills!  
Let me know how it goes, and please share some games that work for your children.
Resources:
  • Florez, I. (2011). Developing young children’s self-regulation through everyday experiences. Young Children, 66 (4),46-51
  • Gillespie, L. G., & Seibel, N. (2006). Self-regulation: A cornerstone of early childhood development. Beyond the journal: Young Children on the web. Retrieved from http://journal.naeyc.org/btj/200607/Gillespie709BTJ.pdf
  • Rice, M. Understanding the importance of self-regulation for preschoolers.   http://www.ttacnews.vcu.edu/2012/02/
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    I'm Diane Goyette, a Child Development Specialist, Trainer, Consultant and Keynote Speaker.  I'm excited to share my blog! 
    ​Whether you are a child care provider or administrator, a teacher, a parent, or a helping professional who supports young children and families, I hope you get some helpful tips to make your job easier and more enjoyable! 

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