Here are 15 tried and true positive guidance strategies that have been used successfully for decades and are still relevant today.   ​These “Guides to Speech and Action” were developed by Katherine Read Baker over 70 years ago. She wanted adults who work with young children to better understand themselves as well as the children, focusing on the feelings and attitudes behind our guidance techniques. ​​I was first introduced to these guides as a student teacher, and I've been using them ever since.  How many of them do you use?

​1. "State suggestions or directions in a positive form."​

2. "Give the child a choice only when you intend to leave the situation up to him."

Offer children choices as often as you can.  Young children don't have much say in their lives; adults are in charge of their schedules, what they eat, where they go, who is with them, and much more.  Giving choices helps children to feel a sense of control and to practice making decisions.  It also helps children to comply with your instructions with less resistance.  When you offer a choice immediately after stating something they must do, it may help children overcome the urge to refuse.  "It's time to clean up.  Would you like to start with the big blocks or the small ones?" ​ Avoid asking questions or tagging your directions with “okay?” when the child does not have a choice.  If "No" is an unacceptable answer, don't ask - tell!

3. "Use your voice as a teaching tool."

4. "Make health and safety of the children a primary concern."

5. "Use methods of guidance that build the child’s self-respect."

We don't use words like "bad" or "dumb" to label children, but they may get these messages when we say things like, "You know better than than to hit your friends!  Go sit in time out until you can behave!"  Positive guidance should direct a child toward acceptable behavior, not communicate that they are unworthy or "less than." ​ Let's assume that, just like us, children do the best they can under the circumstances.  If they are not doing well, it's our job to help them do better.  Look for the reasons behind the behavior and give them the help they need.

6. "Help a child set standards based on his/her own past performance, rather than on comparison with peers."

7. "Redirect the child in ways consistent with his purpose and interest." Redirection is an extremely effective guidance strategy.  It works best when we suggest an alternative that meets the needs or interest that the child's behavior is communicating.   ​If the child is throwing blocks because he is angry, you can point him toward safer ways to express his strong feelings.  Tearing newspaper, pounding clay, or punching pillows might help.  If, on the other hand, the child is throwing blocks because he wants to throw or to knock things down, you could supply beanbags and safe objects to aim for.

8. "Time directions and suggestions for maximum effectiveness."

9. "Observe the individual ways children use art media, explore the materials yourself, but avoid making models for children to copy."

Children's art is a means of self-expression.  It's all about the process, not the product! Children should be free to explore the media  and create whatever they choose. It's not "art" if you have an end product in mind, even if you don't show the model for children to copy.   ​ Of course, you can give children guidance on using media and materials appropriately: "Keep the glue on your paper" "Move the brush gently back and forth. If you want to push hard, use the pounce brushes instead."​

10. "Give the child the minimum of help in order that s/he may have the maximum chance to grow in independence."

11. "Make your directions effective by reinforcing them when necessary."

​We often tell children "use your words" when they want something from a peer.  When we are guiding children, though, using our words may not be enough.  Glancing, gesturing, or getting nearer the child can all be cues as to what is expected.  We can also back up our words with verbal prompts or physical help.  ​ It's important to use fewer words and simpler directions, following them up with a cue or prompt - or a choice, as mentioned earlier.  Give the child time to process your instructions first. You can say, "It's time to clean up now," as you hand the children the toy bins (a cue). If needed, follow up with prompt, "Put the wooden blocks in here" or a choice, “Would you like to put these blocks away or park the cars?”  (Giving children warnings in advance of a transition helps them shift their attention from one activity to the next as well.)

12. "Learn to foresee and prevent rather than “mop up” after difficulty."

13. "Clearly define and consistently maintain limits when they are necessary."

In a developmentally appropriate early childhood setting, there will be few "no's" - rules that must not be broken.  Adults'  job #1 is to set limits that protect children’s safety, safety of others and safety of property.   These limits are non-negotiable and should be applied consistently.  ​For other classroom rules, the children can be allowed to give input, and adjustments can be made for individual children or circumstances.  Try to help children understand the reason for the limits and what happens when they are not followed.  As mentioned, consequences should be related to the problem behavior and applied in a short enough time frame for children to make the connection.

14. "Use the most strategic positions for supervising."

15. "Increase your own awareness by observing and taking notes."

The early childhood classroom is a place for learning for children - and for adults as well!  Adults need to get to know each child's abilities, interests and needs.  To do this, they watch children carefully and record what they do and say.  Good teachers make observation and documentation part of their daily activities, so they can assess children's progress.  The assessment process may sound intimidating, but it doesn't need to be.  Use whatever system works for you to document what you see and hear: sticky notes, index cards, voice recording, picture taking, video recording, clipboards, etc.   Later you can use the information to assess how the child is progressing and to make follow-up plans.

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What is the most challenging part of your job as an early childhood educator?  If you are a teacher of toddlers or preschoolers, chances are the answer is managing their behavior. You may feel like you could spend more time teaching if your children's behavior was better, but here's another way to think of it:  The time you spend guiding young children’s behavior is time spent teaching them - and you are giving them some of the most important lessons they need to learn to be successful adults.

​Guidance – What Does It Mean to You?

What words come to mind when you think of guidance and discipline?  Take a few minutes to reflect on the first three words that pop into your head.  ​What do they reveal about what you believe is the purpose of guidance?

​Young Children Have a Lot to Learn!

​There are many skills that are considered essential for children to learn so they can demonstrate age-appropriate self-regulation. Here is a list of skills that "researchers throughout the world say young children must master...​ Express needs, wants and feelings constructively Consider other people’s needs, wants and feelings Calm themselves when upset Act in a safe and civil manner Follow rules, routines and directions​ Take proper care of materials Share, take turns, help and cooperate Distinguish acceptable from unacceptable behavior Carry out behaviors they think are right Avoid behaviors they think are wrong" ​​(Kostelnik et al, 2014, p. 40)

​Young Children Need Lots of Guidance! 

​Here are some general characteristics of preschool children that affect their behavior.  This list may help you start to determine what is developmentally appropriate for your own group of children. (from Kostelnik et al., 2014, p. 44)​ They are eager to learn They enjoy pleasing our teachers They express ourselves with their whole bodies They're impulsive They have trouble following negative commands They can't always think of better behaviors They don’t always remember what they're told They can’t follow many directions at once They don’t always connect their actions to the consequences​

We all have moments when our own self-control is challenged - and sometimes that is precisely when children are needing our guidance the most!  Children's challenging behaviors sometimes "push our buttons" and we must calm ourselves before we can effectively guide children.  I use a strategy I learned from Dr. Becky Bailey, founder of Conscious Discipline®​, years ago:  I tell myself, "I am safe, I am calm, I can handle this" (Bailey, 2001, p. 31).  For lots of other mindfulness activities for yourself and your children, follow @earlychildhoodspecialties on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn.  ​ ​We can also reflect on our goals of guidance and recognize our power to show self-control and to provide positive guidance for children.  It's within us all!

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