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positive guidance strategies that work - and teach!

8/30/2021

Here are 15 tried and true positive guidance strategies that have been used successfully for decades and are still relevant today.

These “Guides to Speech and Action” were developed by Katherine Read Baker over 70 years ago. She wanted adults who work with young children to better understand themselves as well as the children, focusing on the feelings and attitudes behind our guidance techniques.

I was first introduced to these guides as a student teacher, and I've been using them ever since. How many of them do you use?

1. "State suggestions or directions in a positive form."

Tell children what they should do instead of what they should not. Keep directions simple so children will understand what is expected of them. Be specific so they know exactly how to follow your directions. "Be nice" or "Share" may be too general to help children change their behavior. "Use kind words like ___" or "Give it to her when you are finished playing with it" are more precise.
Here are a few more examples of positive instructions:
• “Use a soft voice” instead of “Don’t yell”
• “Walk” instead of “Don’t run”
• “Put your feet on the floor” rather than “Don’t climb on the table”

2. "Give the child a choice only when you intend to leave the situation up to him."

Offer children choices as often as you can. Young children don't have much say in their lives; adults are in charge of their schedules, what they eat, where they go, who is with them, and much more. Giving choices helps children to feel a sense of control and to practice making decisions. It also helps children to comply with your instructions with less resistance. When you offer a choice immediately after stating something they must do, it may help children overcome the urge to refuse. "It's time to clean up. Would you like to start with the big blocks or the small ones?"

Avoid asking questions or tagging your directions with “okay?” when the child does not have a choice. If "No" is an unacceptable answer, don't ask - tell!

3. "Use your voice as a teaching tool."

Young children can be sensitive to adults' voices - they may perceive our tone as unfriendly or angry, even if we are not using a loud or harsh voice. Use a pleasant tone that communicates "I like being with you" whenever possible. To get children's attention, get close and use a quiet voice, or try singing. When children must do something, be like Mary Poppins, "kind but extremely firm"!

4. "Make health and safety of the children a primary concern."

The COVID-19 pandemic has certainly made all of us even more aware of the primary importance of children's health and safety. Although we knew beforehand to wash hands diligently, to clean and sanitize toys, and to avoid sharing eating utensils, our current protocols have probably increased our vigilance of these and many other practices. Even after the threat of this deadly disease has passed, we must continue to minimize the risk of communicable diseases.
The physical environment must also provide for safe play, both indoors and out. Survey all areas before allowing children to enter. Ensure all activities have adequate supervision. [See guide #14 for more on supervising.]

5. "Use methods of guidance that build the child’s self-respect."

We don't use words like "bad" or "dumb" to label children, but they may get these messages when we say things like, "You know better than than to hit your friends! Go sit in time out until you can behave!" Positive guidance should direct a child toward acceptable behavior, not communicate that they are unworthy or "less than."

Let's assume that, just like us, children do the best they can under the circumstances. If they are not doing well, it's our job to help them do better. Look for the reasons behind the behavior and give them the help they need.

6. "Help a child set standards based on his/her own past performance, rather than on comparison with peers."

Developmentally appropriate practice (DAP) requires that we meet children where they are and help them to meet challenging but achievable goals. What one child is capable of may be very different from what another can do, so avoid comparing one child to another. Instead, point out the progress the child is making: "Last week you couldn't walk all the way across the balance beam. Today you did it!" Avoid even subtle ways of using comparisons to influence behavior ("Susan is sitting quietly") and discourage competition between children, too. Encourage cooperative play and helping others, and you will be improving children's behavior and self-esteem and developing a sense of community, too.

7. "Redirect the child in ways consistent with his purpose and interest."

Redirection is an extremely effective guidance strategy. It works best when we suggest an alternative that meets the needs or interest that the child's behavior is communicating.

If the child is throwing blocks because he is angry, you can point him toward safer ways to express his strong feelings. Tearing newspaper, pounding clay, or punching pillows might help. If, on the other hand, the child is throwing blocks because he wants to throw or to knock things down, you could supply beanbags and safe objects to aim for.

8. "Time directions and suggestions for maximum effectiveness."

Timing is important when guiding children’s behavior. Children should be given a chance to work things out for themselves, but not get too frustrated or upset. Remember DAP - goals should be challenging but achievable.
One consideration of timing your guidance is to notice the child's emotional state. When they are really upset they are not ready to learn. Save your guidance for a few minutes, and help them calm down and feel connected first.

Another timing tip is to set consequences that follow the behavior as soon as possible. Having to leave the block area after deliberately knocking over another child's structure would be an example of an immediate consequence. If you can't time it that way, at least connect the consequence to the behavior. Having to clean up a large mess of one's making is a logical consequence; sitting out at playtime later in the day is not.
[See guide #11 for more about following up on limits.]

9. "Observe the individual ways children use art media, explore the materials yourself, but avoid making models for children to copy."

Children's art is a means of self-expression. It's all about the process, not the product!
Children should be free to explore the media and create whatever they choose. It's not "art" if you have an end product in mind, even if you don't show the model for children to copy.

Of course, you can give children guidance on using media and materials appropriately:

"Keep the glue on your paper"
"Move the brush gently back and forth. If you want to push hard, use the pounce brushes instead."

You may also explore the media yourself. Avoid judgements of children's creations, even positive ones. Instead of saying you like a child's painting when asked, point out something you notice about the painting ("You used lots of red and blue") or about the child ("Your smile is telling me you are happy with it").

10. "Give the child the minimum of help in order that s/he may have the maximum chance to grow in independence."

Allowing children to do things themselves helps them to develop self-help skills. Even if they are struggling, they may not want our assistance, and we can show respect by honoring their wishes. If a child asks for help, scaffold his or her learning by offering the least amount of help he or she needs to do the task. Over time, as children become more confident and skilled, they will need less and less help from adults.
One note about this guide: It's important to recognize cultural differences in doing for others; doing something the other person is capable of may be seen by some as a way of strengthening their relationship.

11. "Make your directions effective by reinforcing them when necessary."

We often tell children "use your words" when they want something from a peer. When we are guiding children, though, using our words may not be enough. Glancing, gesturing, or getting nearer the child can all be cues as to what is expected. We can also back up our words with verbal prompts or physical help.

It's important to use fewer words and simpler directions, following them up with a cue or prompt - or a choice, as mentioned earlier. Give the child time to process your instructions first. You can say, "It's time to clean up now," as you hand the children the toy bins (a cue). If needed, follow up with prompt, "Put the wooden blocks in here" or a choice, “Would you like to put these blocks away or park the cars?” (Giving children warnings in advance of a transition helps them shift their attention from one activity to the next as well.)

12. "Learn to foresee and prevent rather than “mop up” after difficulty."

There is an old saying, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." When guiding young children's behavior, anticipating and preventing problems is usually the best strategy by far. Be especially sensitive to those children who experience difficulties getting along with others. Entering a group of children at play is an incredibly difficult skill for some, and they benefit from us giving suggestions ahead of time rather than waiting until they encounter a problem. T Socially successful children observe the play and find a way to join in without disrupting it. You can help other children do this as well. The better you know the children, the better you can anticipating their actions - and guide them toward success.

13. "Clearly define and consistently maintain limits when they are necessary."

In a developmentally appropriate early childhood setting, there will be few "no's" - rules that must not be broken. Adults' job #1 is to set limits that protect children’s safety, safety of others and safety of property. These limits are non-negotiable and should be applied consistently.

For other classroom rules, the children can be allowed to give input, and adjustments can be made for individual children or circumstances. Try to help children understand the reason for the limits and what happens when they are not followed. As mentioned, consequences should be related to the problem behavior and applied in a short enough time frame for children to make the connection.

14. "Use the most strategic positions for supervising."

Always be alert to the entire environment; supervise the children as if you are the only adult around. Get into the habit of positioning yourself where you can see as much as possible, and move about to check on areas that are difficult to see at all times. For safety you must be able to observe all the children. Many times a teacher is often in a better Getting at the children’s level is ideal for supervising and for allowing the children to approach you. Of course, if there are two or more adults, position yourselves in different areas so all may be seen.

15. "Increase your own awareness by observing and taking notes."

The early childhood classroom is a place for learning for children - and for adults as well! Adults need to get to know each child's abilities, interests and needs. To do this, they watch children carefully and record what they do and say. Good teachers make observation and documentation part of their daily activities, so they can assess children's progress. The assessment process may sound intimidating, but it doesn't need to be. Use whatever system works for you to document what you see and hear: sticky notes, index cards, voice recording, picture taking, video recording, clipboards, etc. Later you can use the information to assess how the child is progressing and to make follow-up plans.

I hope you find these 15 guides as useful as I did when I was a student and beginning teacher. I wish you well as you use positive techniques to guide your children's behavior! Coming up in future posts: Handling and preventing challenging behaviors - stay tuned!

References

Copple, C. & S. Bredekamp. 2006. Basics of developmentally appropriate practice: an introduction for teachers of children 3 to 6. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Read, K & Patterson, J. (1980) The Nursery School and Kindergarten: Human Relationships and Learning, 7th ed. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 95-109.*

*Available online at: http://fcs.sites.mjc.edu/Guides2SpeechNAction.pdf

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An Alphabet of Marvelous Movement Activities!

7/26/2021

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Watching the 2020 Olympics, I was inspired to postpone my planned guidance post so I could share some ideas for promoting active physical play for preschoolers.

Have you been watching the amazing feats of the Olympic athletes? It's incredible what these young people have accomplished through years of hard work and dedication to their sports!
Watching the backstories, I learned that many began their sports careers simply by discovering the joy of movement and physical activity as children. That enjoyment motivated them to dedicate an enormous amount of effort to achieve their dreams.
Of course, we can't all be Olympic athletes, but we can do our best to be active and healthy! In the early childhood years, competition and organized sports, can wait, but active play can't! Infants, toddlers and preschoolers all need daily doses of physical activity for their development and learning.
Here's why:

Benefits of Physical Activity for Young Children

Movement activities are a fun way for children to improve their physical health and development. They benefit children’s learning and behavior, too! Children who are more active are better at self-regulation, so they exhibit fewer behavioral problems. They do better in school and can pay attention longer. They sleep better and are less likely to feel stressed or depressed. Active children have improved confidence in themselves and get along better with their peers. Of course, physical activity develops gross motor skills, builds strong muscles and bones, and improves strength, endurance and flexibility.

How much physical activity do children need?

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) recommends that preschool children "should be active throughout the day to enhance growth and development. Adult caregivers of preschool-aged children should encourage active play that includes a variety of activity types." (US DHHS, p. 8)

In Texas, here are the recommendations for children younger than 6:

Infants 1-12 months: Daily "opportunities for physical activity, including supervised tummy time, reaching, grasping, pulling up, creeping, crawling, and walking (TX HHSC, p. 134)
Toddlers and Preschoolers: At least 90 minutes or more of MVPA daily

Children of all ages should also be provided with outside time daily. (see TX HHSC, p. 120-121)

For school-age children, DHHS recommends 60 minutes or more of moderate to vigorous physical activity (MVPA) each day. This should include:

Aerobic Activities (vigorous intensity at least 3 days a week)
Muscle-strengthening Activities (3 days a week)
Bone-strengthening Activities: (3 days a week)

Active Games from A to Z

Here are some fun movement activities and games I've found. Try some with your children today!

“Action Alphabet” – Act out a movement for each letter of the alphabet A – Act like an alligator B – Bend your knees C – Climb a ladder D – Dance E – Eat your lunch F – Fly like a bird G – Gallop like a horse H – Hop like a bunny I – Ice skate J – Jumping jacks K – Kick a soccer ball L – Leap in the air M – March like a solider N – Nod your head O – Open your arms P – Pop like popcorn Q – Quietly tip toe R – Run in place S – Swim like a fish T – Touch your toes U – Unlock a door V – Vacuum the floor W – Wiggle your body X – Make an “X” with your body Y – Yo-yo up and down Z – Zigzag across the floor (adapted from Physical Activity Card 3 at https://healthykidshealthyfuture.org/)

“My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean” (Stand up or sit down on each “B” word.)
My Bonnie lies over the ocean, Bring back, bring back,
My Bonnie lies over the sea, O bring back my Bonnie to me, to me.
My Bonnie lies over the ocean, Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my Bonnie to me. O bring back my Bonnie to me. (various sources)

“Car And Driver” - Stand behind a child with your hands on his or her shoulders. Direct the child to stop and start using only your hands. The child can take a turn “driving” you, putting their hands on your waist. (various sources)

“Echo! Be my Echo!” - The leader creates a clapping pattern, children listen and repeat. (various sources)

Freeze Dances - These were favorites of the children in my classes: Rock and Roll Freeze Dance” by Hap Palmer, and “The Freeze” by Greg & Steve. Of course, you can play freeze dance with any music you start and stop!

“Green Means Go…Fast!”- Hold up different color signs. Children walk at the speed of your sign: Green – fast; yellow - regular pace; blue - slow motion, red – stop. Try different locomotor skills – running in place, marching, jumping, galloping, etc. (Action Based Learning)

“Hula Hoop Hopping” - Children follow directions to hop in and out of hoops on the ground. Vary your vocabulary: Inside, outside; Next to, beside; etc. (Adapted from Get Moving Today Calendar at https://healthykidshealthyfuture.org/)

“I Spy” - Say, “I spy __________” When children see something that fits the criteria they run to it. Each time direct them to use a different type of movement. (healthykidshealthyfuture.org/)

“Jump Over the River” - Put two ropes on the floor to make the riverbanks. Let the children jump over the river. Make it a little bigger as you pretend it rains, then jump again. When the river gets too big to jump across, go swimming! (healthykidshealthyfuture.org/)

Kick a Ball - Direct children to kick the ball in different directions. (healthykidshealthyfuture.org/)

“Leaping on Lily Pads” - Put non-skid lily pad shapes on the floor and label the each one with a color or shape. A child leaps to the one you call out, pushing off with one leg and reaching with the other. (healthykidshealthyfuture.org/)

“Mixed Up Body Parts” - The leader calls out body parts for the children to touch but creates one “mix-up” rule - For example, for “head” kids should touch their toes instead. Create one rule to start. (The leader calls out “knees, head, elbow” kids should touch their knees, TOES and elbow). Continue adding other rules to change body parts. (various sources)

Number Games – Move a certain way a small number of times. (various sources)

Obstacle Course – Set up things for children to jump over, go around, and move under. (various sources)

Pretending – Here are some of my children's favorite CDs: Pretend by Hap Palmer and Late Last Night by Joe Scruggs,

Quiet Stretches and Slow-motion Movements- Turn on some slow, quiet music; lie on the floor, relax and breathe.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwgzdJWNwJY)

“Ready, Set, Show!” - Play like Paper, Rock, Scissors – have children show numbers, then have them add the numbers together or tell which is more. (Action Based Learning)

Skate on Paper Plates - Stand with each foot on a paper plate, slide to the music. (various sources)

“A Tooty Ta Ta” - Here's one source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXvh08Mnork

Using a balloon, practice volleying with different parts of your body. Can you keep the balloon in the air using your hand, your thumb, or even your elbow? (healthykidshealthyfuture.org/)

Vroom, vroom! Children take turns pulling or pushing other children in a box or basket. Call out different directions for them to go. (healthykidshealthyfuture.org/)

Walk, Stop, Melt! - Leader calls commands, including stopping while melting so children can freeze into different poses. (healthykidshealthyfuture.org/)

X marks the spot! - Mark a place for children to move to. Direct them to move in different ways.

Yoga poses – Here's one source for “Bug Yoga” http://yoga.lovetoknow.com/Kids_Free_Downloadable_Yoga_Videos

Zip Zap Zop - Stand in a circle. Someone begins by pointing to another person in the circle and saying "ZIP!" That person then points to yet another person and says "ZAP!“ That person points to another person and says "ZOP!"
This continues, but the words must be said in order: ZIP, ZAP, ZOP. (www.teampedia.net)

I hope this list of active games gave you some ideas for fun movement activities with your children. Please share your ideas as well!

References

Nemours Children's Health System. Heathy kids, healthy future. (n.d.) https://healthykidshealthyfuture.org/

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans, 2nd edition. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; 2018. https://health.gov/sites/default/files/2019-09/Physical_Activity_Guidelines_2nd_edition.pdf

Texas Health and Human Services Commission. (2021). Texas Minimum Standards for Child-Care Centers.
https://www.hhs.texas.gov/sites/default/files/documents/doing-business-with-hhs/provider-portal/protective-services/ccl/min-standards/chapter-746-centers.pdf

Torbert, M. (2005). Using active group games to develop basic life skills. Young Children 60(4): 72-78.
Torbert, M. & Schneider, L. B. 1993. Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

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The Power of Positive Guidance - It's Within You!

6/29/2021

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What is the most challenging part of your job as an early childhood educator? If you are a teacher of toddlers or preschoolers, chances are the answer is managing their behavior.

You may feel like you could spend more time teaching if your children's behavior was better, but here's another way to think of it: The time you spend guiding young children’s behavior is time spent teaching them - and you are giving them some of the most important lessons they need to learn to be successful adults.

With this viewpoint, you can see not only that the time you spend guiding children is a large and essential part of your job, you can see that it should be.
And while challenging, providing guidance doesn't have to be a chore. With a clear view of your purpose and a toolbox of effective strategies, you may actually start to enjoy handling inappropriate behaviors. Really, you have within you the power to create a smoothly running classroom where you and the children are thriving. And you can have fun doing it!

Guidance – What Does It Mean to You?

What words come to mind when you think of guidance and discipline?

Take a few minutes to reflect on the first three words that pop into your head.

What do they reveal about what you believe is the purpose of guidance?

I would challenge you to consider that the primary goal of guidance is to teach children how to manage their emotions, thoughts and behaviors. At first, children need our constant support, but eventually they will learn to behave appropriately more of the time, even without us. This process of self-regulation happens very gradually from infancy to adolescence (and sometimes beyond), and it requires lots of guidance and practice. Self-regulation takes such a long time because of the all the skills involved and because it depends on the children's social, emotional, and cognitive development.

Young Children Have a Lot to Learn!

There are many skills that are considered essential for children to learn so they can demonstrate age-appropriate self-regulation. Here is a list of skills that "researchers throughout the world say young children must master...

Express needs, wants and feelings constructively
Consider other people’s needs, wants and feelings
Calm themselves when upset
Act in a safe and civil manner
Follow rules, routines and directions
Take proper care of materials
Share, take turns, help and cooperate
Distinguish acceptable from unacceptable behavior
Carry out behaviors they think are right
Avoid behaviors they think are wrong"

(Kostelnik et al, 2014, p. 40)

To learn all these skills, toddlers and preschoolers need an incredible amount of support from us, especially at first. We can use scaffolding to provide more help when needed, then less and less and children become more skilled.

Young Children Need Lots of Guidance!

As you know, teaching young children requires that we take into account what is developmentally appropriate. We have to know what the norms are for children in our classroom's age group, each individual child's needs and abilities, and the cultural context of their family and community. When we know what is age appropriate, individually appropriate and culturally appropriate, we can meet children where they are and help them meet challenging but achievable goals. (Copple & Bredekamp, 2006)

Here are some general characteristics of preschool children that affect their behavior. This list may help you start to determine what is developmentally appropriate for your own group of children. (from Kostelnik et al., 2014, p. 44)

They are eager to learn
They enjoy pleasing our teachers
They express ourselves with their whole bodies
They're impulsive
They have trouble following negative commands
They can't always think of better behaviors
They don’t always remember what they're told
They can’t follow many directions at once
They don’t always connect their actions to the consequences

Besides knowing what is developmentally appropriate for our children, we need to know ourselves as well. To teach children self-regulation, we need to start by recognizing where we are in our own self-regulation journeys.

We all have moments when our own self-control is challenged - and sometimes that is precisely when children are needing our guidance the most! Children's challenging behaviors sometimes "push our buttons" and we must calm ourselves before we can effectively guide children. I use a strategy I learned from Dr. Becky Bailey, founder of Conscious Discipline®, years ago: I tell myself, "I am safe, I am calm, I can handle this" (Bailey, 2001, p. 31). For lots of other mindfulness activities for yourself and your children, follow @earlychildhoodspecialties on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn.

We can also reflect on our goals of guidance and recognize our power to show self-control and to provide positive guidance for children. It's within us all!

Coming up next, specific positive guidance strategies that work and teach - stay tuned!

References

Bailey, R. A. (2001). Conscious discipline: 7 basic skills for brain smart classroom management. Oviedo, FL: Loving Guidance.
Bailey, R. A. (2015). Conscious discipline: Building resilient classrooms. Oviedo, FL: Loving Guidance.
Copple, C. & S. Bredekamp. (2006). Basics of developmentally appropriate practice: an introduction for teachers of children 3 to 6. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Kostelnik, M. J., Rupiper, M., Soderman, A. K. & Whiren, A. P. (2014). Developmentally appropriate curriculum In action. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education Inc., 40-44.

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5 Playful practices that Support LANGUAGE AND LITERACY for INFANTS AND TODDLERS

5/29/2021

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Playing with Infants and toddlers is the best way for us to support all their learning and development, including language. Through play, young children are learning how to communicate. They learn how the world works. They learn to put their thoughts into words. They begin to understand that words are symbols that stand for real objects or experiences. Our playful interactions with infants and toddlers set a strong foundation for them to understand language and to begin speaking themselves.

Playing with infants and toddlers also helps them develop skills related to reading and writing. In the early years, the development of these skills is called emergent literacy. Young children learn literacy skills when we talk with them, read to them and play with them. The more often the better, and it's never too soon to start reading to babies!
Young children also learn literacy from hearing language spoken around them and by being immersed in a print-rich and literacy-rich environment. This means they see lots of print around them and people using print often in their every day lives. Let them see you reading for information, writing shopping lists, and scheduling events on the calendar. Your children will want to learn these reading and writing skills, too.

Five Practices That Foster Language and Literacy Development for Infant and Toddlers

1. CONNECT!
Building strong, responsive relationships with children sets a strong foundation for learning, behavior and health - for their lifetimes. It is the single most important factor in building resilience, the ability to bounce back after setbacks.
The adult-child relationship is no less important in language and literacy development. When we express affection by smiling and snuggling, being playful, and really paying attention to our infants and toddlers, we are showing them that we love and care for them. Children learn best when they feel connected with us, and they are encouraged to communicate when they trust that we will be responsive to their efforts and meet their needs.

Playful Activity Ideas for Connecting:

Bounces - Bounce a child on your lap while chanting or singing a nursery rhyme

For lots more ideas for games to play with young children that build your relationships with them, click see my blog post Connecting Games to Play with Infants and Toddlers.

2. TALK AND SING!
Talk directly to infants and toddlers as often as you can. Try to have as many conversations as you can, so all your interactions aren't just giving directions or correcting children. Be sure to use the children's names during these conversations, too.
If you are talking about something around you, point to it so children can make the connection between the object and the words you are saying. Respond when children point to things, too. Label the object and talk about it, letting children take turns in the conversation with looks, gestures or sounds.
Tell young children stories and stretch conversations. You can expand on what toddlers say with the appropriate language, without correcting them. "I goed fast!" "Yes, you went very fast."
Talk to your children about many different events and ideas Describe what you are doing and thinking as you go about your day. Narrate the children's experiences, too. Give them encouragement by noticing their efforts. Becky Bailey, founder of Conscious Discipline®, has a simple script: "You ___ so [or when] ___. That was ___." For example, "You hugged your friend when she was sad. That was kind."
Tell lots of stories. Toddlers especially love hearing stories about themselves. You can make up stories about everyday experiences or retell the story in a favorite book. You could even say a nursery rhyme in the form of a story instead of chanting or singing it, as my friend recently did for a toddler she just met: "Do you know the story of the itsy-bitsy spider? The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up a water spout. Then it rained and the rain knocked the spider down. The sun came up, and the spout dried out in the sun. Then you know what the spider did? It climbed up the water spout again."

Playful Activity Ideas for Talking:

Spend most of your day talking with individual or small groups of children
Use diapering and other routine times to talk and sing with children one-on-one
Have conversations with children as if you were with friends
- Share your own experiences and feelings
- Ask toddlers what they think instead of quizzing them

Use books to have “serve and return” interactions with infants and toddlers
Tell stories often, with or without props

Infants and toddlers love singing, and it's so helpful for language and literacy development! Singing or listening to songs helps children learn new words and develop their listening and speaking skills. Singing slows down language so children can hear the different sounds in the words, which helps with learning to read. Singing with children helps build relationships, too. They love to hear your voice — whether you're a good singer or not!

Singing also gets children's attention and helps them remember what's in the song. Connect the words to movement for an even more memorable experience.

Playful Activity Ideas for Singing:

Sing simple songs to infants, including some with hand movements
Provide baby-safe instruments for children to play while listening to recorded music
Modify the words in well-known songs or ask older toddlers to fill in the blanks
Expose children to music of different eras, styles and from other cultures
Use songs to tell stories with puppets, pictures, or props
Read books to get you singing together, such as Over in the Meadow (A Barefoot Singalong) by Jill McDonald

3. DO MATH!
Math for infants and toddlers? Oh, yes! Before one year, infants are learning the concepts of “more” and “enough”. They learn to judge short distances and that there is an order of events in their day. These are early math concepts. Toddlers learn to count small numbers of objects, to match shapes, to compare objects and to follow simple patterns. When we play with infants and toddlers to build their language and literacy we can also help them learn math.

Playful Activity Ideas for Doing Math

Count with children often, pointing to each object as you say the number
Make a game of sorting and matching objects, like pairs of socks
Compare objects with children, and help them put them into groups.
Sing songs and do fingerplays that count, like "Johnny Works with One Hammer"
Pat infants to the steady beat in music

4. GET ACTIVE AND MOVE!
In the infant and toddler years, play is often a full-body experience! Children are learning through their senses and their muscles as they play. Join in, exploring movement with your children: Crawl, run, jump, dance, and move with your children. Of course, active play has many benefits for physical health and development and stimulates children's ability to think. To boost children's language and literacy development as well, you can encourage them to act out action words, stories, songs and more. Better yet, do it with them! Even if our adult bodies no longer move quite as freely as children's, when w participate in active play we can share in the joy and reap the benefit of movement while encouraging language development at the same time.

Playful Activity Ideas for Movement:
These three games from Torbert & Schneider (1993) are especially helpful for developing literacy skills. They emphasize direction in movement, which is important for learning to read.

"Follow Me" - Face the group with your arms held in a specific position. Invite the players to join the game: “Put your arms like my arms.” Then assume a new pose. (p. 89)
"Arrows" – As you point to an arrow, children move both their arms in the direction of the arrow. (p.48)
"Can You?" – Children act upon your directions: reach up high, stand up, sit down, turn around, etc. (p. 69)

Other Active Play Ideas:

Read books that invite play and movement, such as From Head to Toe by Eric Carle
Play active games with lots of direction words (over, under, through, etc)

5. READ, READ, READ!
Reading together with infants and toddlers is the single most effective way to help them become proficient readers later. Reading helps children develop their vocabularies as they are introduced to words that they may not hear in everyday conversation. It helps them to understand language and increases their general knowledge of the world.
Make reading a cozy and comfortable time for connecting with your children. Snuggle up! Talk about what you read with children. Involve them in the books, pointing to pictures and words and asking questions that get them to think. Let them decide when to turn the page and when story time is over. It's more important to talk about the book that to read all the words.

Playful Activity Ideas for Reading:

Use props or puppets to act out the story while reading
Use different voices for different characters in books
Gather real objects depicted in the story for children to explore while you read
Make reading as fun as you can, so children develop a lifelong joy of reading

Try a new way to build language and literacy skills for infants and toddlers as you play together. Connect, talk, sing, point, count, move, and read. Your children will benefit in many ways, and you will, too!

Resources

Bailey, B. A. (2000). I love you rituals. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University. (n.d.) Brain architecture.
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/serve-return-interaction-shapes-brain-circuitry/
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/5-steps-for-brain-building-serve-and-return/)
Greenberg, J. 2012. More, all gone, empty, full: Math talk every day in every way. Young Children 67 (3): 62-64.
Kent District Library https://kdl.org/young-children/ https://kdl.org/young-children/ready-to-read/success-basics/
Leiderman, R. C. & Sami, W. S. (2012), Let’s play and learn together: Fill your baby’s day with creative activities that are fun and enhance development. Beverly, MA: Four Winds Press.
Schickedanz, J. (2013). So much more than the ABCs: The early stages of reading and writing. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Torbert, M. (2005). Using active group games to develop basic life skills. Young Children 60 (4), p. 73-75.
Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B. (1993). Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Wiggles, Tickles & Rhymes. (n.d.) Pierce County Library. https://www.piercecountylibrary.org/files/library/wigglesticklesall.pdf
Zero to Three http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/early-language-literacy/earlyliteracy2pagehandout.pdf
www.zerotothree.org/resources/1514-beyond-twinkle-twinkle-using-music-with-infants-and-toddlers

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How Language Develops in the First 5 Years - and how you can help

4/26/2021

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During the preschool years, children's language is developing most rapidly, especially from birth to age three. Children are learning to understand language (receptive language) and to use language to communicate (expressive language). Children's language abilities affect their learning and development in all areas, and they begin at birth, as babies use cries and body language to communicate. Of course, infants and young children develop language with our help; we'll explore ways to support them from birth to age five.

Theories of Language Development

Do you wonder how young children learn such a complex skill as communicating with language? Three scientists have offered theories to explain how to understand how children learn to understand language and to speak so amazingly quickly and easily. Each of these theories contributes toward our current understanding of language development.

The nativist theory says that we are born with everything we need to learn and use language. This idea was popularized in the 1970’s by a linguist and cognitive scientist named Noam Chomsky. Chomsky proposed that there is an inborn language acquisition device in the brain that facilitates the learning and using of language. This theory is where we got the now generally accepted idea that the brain is ‘wired’ for language and that humans are biologically programmed to learn language.
Social learning theory was developed by renowned psychologist Albert Bandura. He proposed that Infants and toddlers acquire language by listening to others and then repeating it. But although models for language are important, we need more than just, say, watching people talk on TV to learn language. So we need another explanation:
The interactionist theory, proposed by psychologist Jerome Bruner, says that young children need social responsiveness to fully develop language. The interaction between the caregiver and the child is critically important for learning language and the ability to communicate. Recent brain research backs up this theory.

Language Development Milestones and How to Support Them

Language develops best when children have interactive and responsive relationships with caring adults. Caregivers who are familiar with the developmental stages and are attentive to each child’s individual needs can respond quickly and consistently to meet those needs. This cycle of responsiveness is crucial, assuring children that they are safe and cared for and allowing them to freely explore the environment.
Each child develops at his or her own pace, but generally children reach language milestones in the same order during the same range of time. Let's look at these accomplishments and what we can do to foster them.

Birth to 8 Months

Infants begin communicating with their caregiver at birth. They are comforted by familiar and soothing sounds and intently focus on faces. They communicate their needs by crying and their contentment with cooing. In just a few weeks after birth, they begin to smile when spoken to and maintain eye contact. They communicate through body language, holding out their arms to be picked up; reaching, clapping, and turning in response to familiar words and phrases. They also begin to use joint attention to communicate and as a tool for learning the names of objects. Joint attention is when an infant follows the gaze of a caregiver to an object.

What is Developing:

How to Help:

Listening and Understanding:

Eye Contact - from birth
Social Smile - about 3 months
Joint Attention - about 8 months

Communicating and Speaking:

Crying, gurgling and grunting at birth
Cooing - making vowel sounds - 6-8 weeks
Consonant sounds - 3-4 months
Babbling ("dada") - 4-6 months

Build relationships with children
Watch for non-verbal communication
Listen, respond and take turns
Use Self-Talk and Parallel Talk
Read, point and discuss!

Supporting Language at this Stage:
-Talk soothingly to very young infants. They respond positively to a soft, high-pitched, melodic voice. This is sometimes referred to as motherese; it isn’t baby-talk. Even young infants initiate communication frequently, so be on the lookout for children's efforts and respond to their attempts.
-Play connecting games to build relationships (See the blog post for examples).
-Use serve and return interactions, responding to the looks, sounds, and gestures you see, then pausing for the infant to take a turn. Responding to non-verbal communication tells infants that they are heard and encourages them to communicate more often.
-Infants need to hear lots of language, so talk with them a lot. You can narrate what you are doing (self-talk) and what children are doing (parallel talk). For example, “I can see that your diaper is wet. I am getting a new one so I can change you" (self-talk). “You are putting the blocks in the bucket!” (parallel talk). You will be expanding children's vocabulary and giving them the interaction they are eager for.
-Books are for babies, too! Reading to them every day is good for Infants of all ages. They learn the flow of language as they tune into pictures of familiar objects. Having access to books helps them enjoy the closeness and interaction as they are read to. They can also practice shared attention as you discuss stories, and they can initiate reading by bringing you a book.

8 to 18 Months

During this time, infants can understand much of what they hear. They can follow simple instructions like, “go get your ball”. They recognize the names of familiar objects and respond to their own name. They turn their attention to someone that is speaking and make eye contact.
This is also an exciting time of first words! Infants begin to use one word phrases accompanied by hand gestures and non-verbal cues to communicate. These holophrases can convey an entire sentence. For example “Cup?” might mean "May I have my cup?"
By 18 months, infants may have 30 - 50 word vocabularies, but this varies greatly based on the individual child.

What is Developing

Listening and Understanding:

Understand simple instructions
Recognize object names

Communicating and Speaking:

first words are learned slowly - mostly nouns
Holophrases - 1-word sentences

How to Help:

Listen and respond
Model language
Sing songs, play word-games, use rhymes
Expand vocabulary
Read!

Caregiver Responses:
Continue to use the strategies recommended for younger infants, and add new songs, word games, and rhymes. Model listening and responding, and play interactive sound and word games that mimic the turns of a conversations – such as beating a drum or call and response songs where children repeat after you.

From 18 Months to 3 Years

Toddlers listen, respond and gain new words every day; their vocabularies grow rapidly during this stage. Toddlers can follow two-step instructions, and begin to appreciate and respond to funny comments and rhymes. They start to talk with peers, listening and responding to one another.
Toddlers' speech moves quickly from two-word and three-word sentences to more complex sentence structure by age three.

What is Developing

Listening and Understanding:

Listen and respond
Follow two-step instructions
Engage in peer conversations

Communicating and Speaking:

Use two-word phrases (20 months)
Use three-word phrases (24 months)
Speak in sentences (36 months)

How to Help:

Use recasting
Use expansion
Express emotions with language
Ask open-ended questions
Provide novel subjects and experiences
Read!

Caregiver Responses
-As toddlers become more verbal, you can use new techniques to scaffold their language development: Recasting and expansion. Recasting means restating the child’s sentence using correct grammar. You don't need to point out the mistake or correct the child, simply reword what they say. For example, if a child says “Spot digged a hole,” Say, “Yes, Spot dug a hole.” Expansion means adding to the child’s statement; “Yes, Spot dug a big hole. He wanted to bury his bone.” Your job is to model mature language and increase vocabulary.
-You can also use language to describe emotions and help toddlers begin to identify their feelings. Before reminding toddlers to "use your words", tell them the words to use when they are upset or in a conflict with a peer. Young children need lots of modeling, support and practice to use language to help them regulate their emotions. Help them find the words to identify their feelings. “It looks like you are really angry that it's time to stop playing. Let's find something that will help you feel better.”
-Ask open-ended questions. This also extends learning and invites the child to express himself or herself.
-Provide toddlers with a variety of new materials and experiences. This expands vocabulary and keeps toddlers engaged in their environment. Explore the outdoors, following the children’s lead and talk about the things they find interesting.
-Continue to provide access to books and lots of opportunities for reading every day. Read to toddlers in small groups and one-on-one, and let toddlers to explore books independently as well.

From 3 to 4 Years

Three-year-olds are able to more effectively use language to communicate. They've learned the rules of conversation and begin to talk more with peers and caregivers. They can answer questions, so ask them starting with who, what, when, where and why. You may even pose more complex questions, such as how and if/then. Threes can usually follow three-step instructions.
Three-year-olds are learning multiple words to describe and talk about their feelings. They are beginning to resolve conflicts with peers and provide comfort with language. They begin to use phrases such as “I think” and “I have an idea” and “I guess” that indicate their thought process. Threes can more consistently apply grammar rules regarding past tense and possessives, and can more accurately use pronouns like he, her, they and we.

What is Developing

How to Help:

Listening and Understanding:

Follow three-step directions
Have conversations with peers
Respond to questions

Communicating and Speaking:

Use 4000+ words
Describe and communicate feelings
Apply past tense and possessive rules

Create opportunities for child-child conversations
Play Word games
Ask open-ended questions
Provide novel subjects and experiences
Listen to children
Read, read, read!

Caregiver Responses
Direct interactions between caregivers and children are still important, but three-year-olds interact with one another more frequently. Your role is to create an environment that is supportive of these peer interactions: A classroom with well-defined and engaging learning centers, spaces for small group and one-on-one activities, and interesting materials that foster problem-solving and require cooperation (i.e. simple board games, dramatic play, and construction materials). Provide consistent and clear expectations that allow children to explore with confidence.
Include both small and large group activities (reading, storytelling, singing, and word games) that extend threes' vocabulary and model effective social communication.

From 4 to 5 Years

Four-year-olds have a greater understanding of of grammar rules: Over-regulation (for example, adding -ed for all words to indicate past tense) gradually disappears by about age 5.

Four-year-olds may have trouble with certain types of words: opposites, negatives, connectives (if, or, but) and question words (how, why, when).

From four to five years, children's vocabulary grows from about 4,000 words to about
8,000- 12,000 words.

Four-year-olds converse more with other children, adapting their speech to the needs of the listener.

What is Developing

How to Help:

Listening and Understanding:

A strong receptive vocabulary
Phonological awareness

Communicating and Speaking:

Confidence and motivation to use language expressively

Have daily conversations with each child
Have fun with words (rhymes, nonsense words, word families, poems, chants, music)
Provide enjoyable listening activities and peer interaction opportunities

Besides continuing to develop receptive and expressive language, preschoolers are also developing literacy - the knowledge and skills related to reading and writing. For ideas about what is involved and how you can support emergent literacy from birth to age five, watch for our next blog post in May. Until then, enjoy helping your young children's language skills develop!

References

Texas Early Learning Council. (2013). The Texas Infant, Toddler, and Three-Year-Old Early Learning Guidelines. https://littletexans.org/Media/FullGuidelinesEnglish.pdf
Kostelnik, M. J., Rupiper, M., Soderman, A. K., & Whiren, A. P. (2014). Developmentally Appropriate Curriculum in Action. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

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Social Skills children learn from Play - and how you can help

3/28/2021

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Play is vital for children for many reasons. It supports all areas of development, building their language and thinking skills, contributing to physical health and development, and helping them learn about themselves and one another. Play is the most powerful learning tool there is!

In this post we'll look at one area of development, children's social development, and one type of play, social play.

Social development is the gradual gaining of the skills, attitudes, relationships, and behavior that enable children to interact with others. Social play happens when children are playing with adults or with other kids.

By definition, social skills develop slowly over time - children need lots and lots of practice to learn how to get along with others! In early childhood, play gradually gets more social and more complex. By about age four, children begin to engage in sociodramatic play, cooperating to take on different roles and creating their own rules for how they will play.

"Let's pretend you got hurt fighting the fire and I'm the doctor who helps you."

Sociodramatic play is an especially valuable type of play. Besides having fun (which has value in itself!), children learn social skills that include: communication, cooperation, problem-solving and perspective taking. Research shows that these social skills help children succeed in school and in life, too. (Caprara et al.)

For children to best learn social skills through play, they need lots of opportunities to play with other children, of course. But they also need support from sensitive adults. Here’s why:

Young children often do not know what is expected in different social situations
They lack experience and knowledge of appropriate ways to solve conflicts
They are naturally egocentric, so it is hard for them to understand others’ intentions and feelings

We can support children’s social skill development by playing with our kids and modeling the positive social behaviors we want them to use. We can also teach them social skills using a technique called “scaffolding” - giving just enough help at first to build new skills, then letting them do more and more on their own.

Here are some ways to support young children’s development of social skills:

Communication

Teach children appropriate ways of getting people’s attention - “When you want Nikko’s attention, say ‘Nikko’, gently tap his shoulder, then wait for him to look at you.”
Help children tell each other directly what they want or need - “Tell Sharon, ‘I want to pretend the that the baby is sick and needs to go to the doctor.’”
Show them how to join a play group – Asking to play is not always the best strategy! “Watch them, they are building a habitat for dinosaurs with the blocks. How could you join in?”

Cooperation

Explain what cooperation looks like in different play situations:

Sharing: “Hold the book so Tim can see the pages.” “Roll the ball to Rachel, then she can roll it to you.”
Taking turns: Help kids negotiate who goes first and the time for each turn.
Compromising: Give children ideas about how each can get a little of what they want.

Problem-solving

When children play together, conflicts are inevitable. Help kids learn to solve problems collaboratively by teaching them to negotiate. Here are the steps in successful problem-solving:

State the problem – everyone gets a say.
Brainstorm on solutions – again, everyone contributes.
Choose the solution that everyone agrees on.
Implement the solution – Decide on the logistics (length of turns, who goes first, etc.)
Evaluate the solution – How is it working?

Perspective-taking

We can help children understand the perspective of others by pointing out:

How others feel - “Her face is saying ‘I’m sad.’”
How the child’s behavior affects others - “When you insist on having your way, friends may not want to play with you.”
How other children might see things differently - “John may not like to be pulled that fast in the wagon.

With your support and many opportunities for social play, your children will develop the social skills they need to get along with others throughout their lives. And they will have had lots of fun, too!

References:
Caprara, G. V., Barbaranelli, C., Pastorelli, C., Bandura, A., & Zimbardo, P. G. (2000). Prosocial foundations of children's academic achievement. Psychological Science, 11(4), 302-306.
Forrester, M. M. & Albrecht, K. M. (2014). Social emotional tools for life: An early childhood teacher’s guide to supporting strong emotional foundations and successful social relationships. Houston: Innovations in ECE Press.
Lancy, David F. and Grove, M. Annette, "Marbles and Machiavelli: The role of game play in children's social development" (2017). Sociology, Social Work and Anthropology Faculty Publications. Paper 621.
https://digitalcommons.usu.edu/sswa_facpubs/621
White, R. E. (2012). The power of play - A research summary on play and learning. For Minnesota Children’s Museum Smart Play. https://www.childrensmuseums.org/images/MCMResearchSummary.pdf

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How Playing with your Children Strengthens your Relationships – and Why That Is So Important

12/24/2020

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Playing with your children is good for their developing brains, even when we aren’t trying to teach them anything. Research shows that close relationships with caring adults are the most important thing affecting children’s healthy brain development!

Relationships actually shape the brain’s architecture, especially during the child’s early years. They help form and strengthen the connections between brain cells that are crucial for healthy development and affect how the brain functions. So, when you strengthen your relationships with your children, you are building the foundation for their learning, behavior and health – for their lifetimes.

The Importance of Relationships

Children who have a close, consistent relationship with at least one caring adult:

are more resilient – able to overcome hardships
get along better with peers and have higher level social skills
tolerate frustration better and show less aggression, depression and anxiety
have improved attention, language and math skills
achieve more in school
have stronger self-regulation skills

One of the best ways to strengthen relationships is through play – and it’s fun, too! Here are three ways to playfully strengthen your relationships with your children:

1. Play connecting games with each of your children.
Connecting games are those you play just to focus on your relationship with your child. You are playing a connecting game when: you feel loving toward your child, you are in close contact (using eye contact and touch when possible), and you are being playful. These activities can be brief but are extremely powerful in strengthening the bond between you and your child, which is important for children of every age.

2. Dedicate a special time to play with each of your children individually.
Schedule about 15-20 minutes when you will play with your child one-on-one, allowing him or her to be in charge. Keep rules to a bare minimum and don’t try to lead their play or teach them anything. Just be emotionally present and give him or her your full attention. (Yes, this means turning off your cellphone!) Give this special playtime a name and commit to offer it consistently for each child, whether it is every day or every week. You and the child will feel closer and you will get to know your child’s interests and abilities even better!

3. Interact in ways that support your relationship.
Use these relationship-building ways of interacting with your children throughout your day, when you are playing and any time you are together. They not only strengthen your relationships with them, they also set the stage for more beneficial play times between you.

Focus on the same things. This technique, called shared attention, helps you to respond to your children’s interests and helps your children develop their attention span.

Watch for times when:

Your baby looks at you or an object
Your toddler points to something
Your preschooler asks you a “why” question
Your school-age child wants you to join in his or her activity

These times are opportunities to engage in “serve and return” interactions. These brain-building back-and-forth interactions are like a game of tennis: Your child “serves” by looking, pointing, or talking, then you return the serve by responding to the focus of their attention. Take as many turns as you can, noticing serves, encouraging and talking about his or her interests, waiting for responses and realizing when they are ready to stop. Serve and return interactions with shared attention are an extremely powerful way to build brains!

Develop rituals to foster closeness. Rituals are consistent routines that you create with each child’s needs in mind. They are designed to strengthen relationships and provide predictability and comfort to your children. If you’ve developed a way of helping your children get ready for bed based on their needs and interests that is the same every night, you have a bedtime ritual. Think of other times during your daily routine that you can build in rituals and get your children’s help in choosing activities to strengthen your relationship: getting ready in the morning, saying hello and goodbye, during rides in the car or bus, or waiting. Rituals build relationships and have the added benefit of helping make mundane routines more enjoyable times for all of you!

Think positive. What you focus on is what you get! To get the most brain-building benefit out of your interactions with your children, focus on what you want them to do, not what you don’t want.
When children are seeking your attention, they are really looking for relationship. This is a basic human need we never outgrow; our brains are wired for connection with others. When children are engaging in behaviors that “push our buttons”, try to think positive thoughts. Take time to observe them and listen to them, notice the good things they do, and offer encouragement as often as you can. When you think positive, your connection with your children will grow – and so will your joy in life!

Schedule down time. Just like us, children need to have time when nothing is required of them. This gives them a chance to rest, relax and learn to reflect on their experiences, which helps them to learn from them. Be sure to schedule your own down time, too. Then you will all be refreshed and better able to handle whatever comes your way

Now that you know how important your relationships with your children are and have some playful ways to strengthen them, you are ready to have some fun. Enjoy growing closer with your children through play, and know you are building their brains and giving their learning, behavior and health a great start in life!

Sources:

Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (n.d.) Serve and return.  https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/serve-and-return/
Bailey, B. A. (2001). Easy to love, difficult to discipline: The 7 basic skills for turning conflict into cooperation.  New York: Harper-Collins Publishers Inc.
Head Start Early Childhood Learning & Knowledge Center Archive. (n.d.). The importance of teacher-child relationships in Head Start. https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/archive/policy/im/acf-im-hs-08-21-attachment
Forrester, M. M. & Albrecht, K. M. (2014).  Social emotional tools for life: An early childhood teacher’s guide to supporting strong emotional foundations and successful social relationships. Houston: Innovations in ECE Press

Sources of Connecting Games
Bailey, B. A. (2000). I love you rituals. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc
Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B. (1993). Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Pierce County Library (n.d.) Wiggles, tickles & rhymes.
https://www.piercecountylibrary.org/files/library/wigglesticklesall.pdf

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Adults Need Play, Too!

11/13/2020

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As adults who care for or teach children, we recognize the value of play for young children: It is the most natural and effective way for them to learn about the world, themselves and others. We may not realize that we adults need play, too.

Play improves many aspects of our lives, such as creativity, mood, and stress relief. It also helps us build and strengthen relationships and just have fun! How can we promote play for ourselves and other adults?

Think back to when you were a child. What were your favorite ways to play? Chances are you still enjoy a version of those things. Try to bring them back into your life, and provide opportunities for the adults in your personal and professional lives to be playful as well.

According to Stuart Brown, there are eight different adult play personalities. You may have one or two of these as your primary ways to play. If you are in a leadership position, it's helpful to know the different styles of play so you can tap into what each person thinks is fun for teambuilding activities. Here are the play personalities:

The Joker - enjoys helping people laugh
The Kinesthete - likes to move and be active
The Explorer - prefers going to new places, learning new information, or searching for new feelings
The Competitor - enjoys playing games to win
The Director - enjoys planning and presiding over scenes and events
The Collector - plays by gathering an interesting collection of objects or experiences
The Artist/Creator - finds joy in creating things or making thinks work
The Storyteller - plays by using the imagination to create, act in, or enjoy stories

Here are some teambuilding activities I've found for the different personality types. Try one out at your next staff meeting or family gathering! I've included ways to play that can be done virtually, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.

Telling Jokes
Have an open mic icebreaker: Open a meeting with some child-friendly jokes that adults may share with their children:

Q: What did 0 say to 8?
A: Nice belt!
Q: Where do you learn to make banana splits?
A: At sundae school.
Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Don’t look now, but something between us smells. (https://www.care.com/c/stories/3776/101-funny-jokes-for-kids/)

Moving

"Balloon Keep Up" (Torbet, 2005)

Have everyone blow up a balloon and form a circle. The goal of this cooperative game is to keep the balloons from touching the floor. You may choose to begin with one balloon then add more gradually, especially if you're playing this game with children.

"Virtual Dance Party"

Play some upbeat music that gets people on their feet!

Competing

"Zip Zap Zop" (www.teampedia.net)

Stand in a circle. Someone begins by pointing to another person in the circle and saying "ZIP!"
That person then points to yet another person and says "ZAP!“
That person points to another person and says "ZOP!"
This continues, but the words must be said in order: ZIP, ZAP, ZOP.
If someone makes a mistake and says a word out of order, that person is out of the game.

Virtual Game: “Name, Place, Animal, Thing” (https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/g32098665/best-games-to-play-on-zoom/)
To play, pick a letter. Each player lists a famous person's name, a place, an animal, and a thing that begins with that letter. The first person to type them into the online chat wins.

Directing
“Cat Got Your Tongue?” (from Leadership on the Go, FFA Organization)
Without any talking, complete these tasks:

Line up by height
Organize yourselves by eye color
Line up by the length of your hair
Organize yourselves by the number of siblings in your family
Line up by the month you were born
Line up alphabetically by the street on which you live

"Virtual Simon Says"
"Simon" gives instructions on actions to do, saying “Simon says” before some actions and not others. Participants do only the actions “Simon says.”
If they do the action not preceded by “Simon says” they are "out." When only one player remains that person wins.

Collecting
"Human Treasure Hunt" (http://scavenger-hunt.org/25-human-scavenger-hunt-questions/)
Go around the room and identify people who meet the criteria on the list:

Have you ever been in a helicopter?
Were you born overseas?
Do you have four or more siblings?
Is your birthday in June?
Have you been to the top of the Empire State Building?
Is your favorite color green?
Can you speak two or more languages fluently?
Have you ridden on a motorcycle?
Can you play the guitar?
Have you ever been stuck in an elevator?

Virtual "Show and/or Tell" (https://biz30.timedoctor.com/virtual-team-building/)
What do you collect? Write it in the chat! If you have a piece of your collection with you, show it, too!

Exploring & Creating
"Object Play"
Provide a set of art or play materials at the tables. Encourage your team members to explore and create with the materials.

"Object Play" - Virtual Edition
Invite online meeting participants to explore and create with whatever materials they have within arm’s reach. Encourage them to make a design, a tall stack or something else with them!

Storytelling
"Add-A-Word Stories" (adapted from: http://www.icebreakers.ws/small-group/connecting-stories.html)

The first player starts a story with one word or short phrase : “Once I went…”
The next player adds a word or short phrase: “On a fabulous trip to…”
Players continue adding one to five words.
Each person has the option to end the sentence and start another, but they sentences should be related.
Continue until all have contributed.

“Exciting Sponge” (https://museumhack.com/virtual-team-building-for-remote-teams/)

To play, each team member grabs a random object in arms length and creates a story about it. You can default to describing a sponge.
The goal is to make up something amazing about the object. The more absurd the better!

Be kind to yourself, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, and put more play in your day. Laugh and be playful every chance you get - you'll be helping yourself and sharing joy with others. Everyone will benefit!

References:
Brown, S. (2009). Play: How it shapes the brain, opens the imagination and invigorates the soul. New York: Penguin.
Frost, J., Wortham., S. & Reifel, S. (2011). Play and child development (4th ed.,). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.
Magnuson, C. D., & Barnett, L. A. (2013). The playful advantage: How playfulness enhances coping with stress. Leisure Sciences, 35, (2), 129-144.
National FFA Organization. (2009). Leadership on the go: A library of activities for inside and outside the classroom. www.siue.edu/SIPDC/PD/communication/LOG.FFA_Leadership. pdf.
Proyer, R. T. (2012). A Psycho-linguistic study on adult playfulness: Its hierarchical structure and theoretical considerations. Journal of Adult Development, 19, (3), 141-149.
Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B. (2005) Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Yu, P., Wu, J. J., Chen, I. H., and Lin, Y. T. (2007). Is playfulness a benefit to work? Empirical evidence of professionals in Taiwan. International Journal of Technology Management, 39, (3-4), 412-429.

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Connecting Games that Build Self-Regulation

10/27/2020

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Would you like to build children's self-regulation skills while strengthening your relationship and having fun? Check out these games!

First, here's a little info about self-regulation:

Self-regulation is a complex process that allows children to appropriately respond to their environment. In other words, it helps them manage their emotions, thoughts and behavior.
It's an active, intentional process that:

Develops gradually
Includes physical, emotional, behavioral and cognitive (thinking) skills
Takes lots of practice and repeated learning opportunities
Requires intentional planning by the teacher

Here are some examples of self-regulation skills that children learn over time:

Taking turns
Following directions
Using words to communicate
Staying on task
Ignoring distractions
Inhibiting impulsivity
Planning one’s actions

Reflecting on one’s thinking
Cooperating with others
Demonstrating empathy

And now, 11 Games that Develop Self-Regulation:

Most of these games come from: Tominey & McClelland (2011). Red light, purple light: Findings from a randomized trial using circle time games to improve behavioral self-regulation in preschool. Early Education and Development, 22 (3). This research study shows that playing certain games helps children develop self-regulation skills. Try one of these or play any game that helps children stop and think, such as Simon Says. Just make it fun!

Relaxation Games

Sinking Activity – Tell children to imagine that their bodies are very heavy and sinking to the floor, (guided relaxation)
Breathing Buddies – Children take deep breaths, lying on their backs with a stuffed animal on their bellies
“Eeping On” – Gently bounce a soft fidget toy on the child’s body

Refocusing Games

Clapping Exercise – Use a series of claps with a certain pattern
Conducting an Orchestra - Wave a conductor’s baton quickly or slowly and have children play instruments accordingly
Drum Beats – Give directions for children to move a certain way when you beat the drum
Elephant Stampede – Direct the children to mimic sounds of elephants close or far away

Behavioral Regulation Games

Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders – Change up the parts to point to as you sing the song. Have children point to one body part when you name another.
The Freeze Game – Children dance and freeze into position when the music stops
Mirror Game - Children take turns making different faces for a partner to imitate
Sleep, Sleep! – Direct children to pretend to sleep then wake up as different animals

Have fun playing, connecting, and building self-regulation skills!
Let me know how it goes, and please share some games that work for your children.

Resources:

Florez, I. (2011). Developing young children’s self-regulation through everyday experiences. Young Children, 66 (4),46-51
Gillespie, L. G., & Seibel, N. (2006). Self-regulation: A cornerstone of early childhood development. Beyond the journal: Young Children on the web. Retrieved from http://journal.naeyc.org/btj/200607/Gillespie709BTJ.pdf
Rice, M. Understanding the importance of self-regulation for preschoolers. http://www.ttacnews.vcu.edu/2012/02/

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Connecting Games to Play with School-age Children

9/28/2020

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Relationships between adults and children are incredibly important for children's development throughout childhood. Close relationships help to build children's brains, setting the foundation for their lifelong learning, behavior and health.

Relationships are built over time, through responsive interactions between adult and child. Every minute we spend building our relationships with children is time well-spent, whether it is in families or at school.

One way to build these important relationships is by playing "connecting games."

To play a connecting game, just include these 3 things:

Emotional warmth - your nurturing, compassionate presence
Close contact - eye contact and gentle touch
Playfulness - expressing joy and fun in being together

(adapted from Bailey, B.A. 2000. I love you rituals. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.)

Here are a few of my favorite connecting games to play with school-age children.
I hope you enjoy some of them!

Back Writing
Trace a word or phrase on a child's back and have them guess what you "wrote".
Use affirmations, encouragement and positive messages.

Balloon Keep Up (Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B. (1993) Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds. Washington, DC: NAEYC. pp. 51-53)
Have lots of balloons, and children work together to keep the balloons from touching the floor.

Special Handshake
Create a special handshake with each of your children, and use it every day to greet them.

Car and Driver (Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B. (1993) Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds. Washington, DC: NAEYC. p. 71)
Stand behind a child with your hands on her shoulders.
Direct the child to stop and start using only your hands.
The child can take a turn “driving” with her hands on your waist.

Hand Clapping Games
Partner with a child and make up a clapping pattern as you sing the songs.

A Sailor Went to Sea, Sea, Sea (http://funclapping.com/)
A sailor went to sea, sea, sea
To see what he could see, see, see.
But all that he could see, see, see
Was the bottom of the deep blue sea, sea, sea.
(On the last 3 words of each line, make a saluting motion.)

Repeat with chop, chop, chop (chopping motion on arm)
Knee, knee, knee (pat knees)
Then sea, chop, knee (Use all 3 motions)

In a Cabin in the Woods (traditional Boy Scout camp song)
In a cabin in the woods   (draw a square in the air with your fingers)
A little man by the window stood (make circles, like binoculars, with your hands and put up to your eyes)
Saw a rabbit hopping by   (two fingers walking in front of you in the air)
Knocking at his door (do a knocking motion with one hand)
“Help me! Help me! Help!” he cried (fling your hands in the air three times)
"Before the hunter finds me!" (put hand over forehead as if shielding the sun while looking back and forth)
Little rabbit come inside                        (motion inviting someone to come to you)
Safely you may hide                                (rock your arms like you’re rocking a baby)

Keep repeating the song, doing the hand motions but humming instead of singing a line. So the second time you sing the song, you don’t say “In a cabin by the woods”, you just hum it and make the hand gesture. The third time, you leave out both 1st and 2nd lines (humming only) do just the hand gesture, sing the rest. You keep going until there are no words, just humming and gestures. You can also speed up the tempo.

Plainsies, Clapsies  (Henry Goyette)
Say one line as you toss the bean bag to a child.   The child repeats it as he tosses it back to you.
Plainsies,                               (Just throw)
Clapsies,                 (clap after throw)
Roll the ball,                            (roll hands as if wheels after throw)
Dilapsies.                (touch shoulders after throw)
Highsies,                 (toss bean bag high)
Lowsies,                  (toss bean bag low)
One hand,                               (toss bean bag one-handed)
The other hand.      (use the other hand)
Touch my knee,                      (touch knee after throw)
Touch my toe ,        (touch toe after throw)
Touch my heel,                       (touch heel after throw)
And under we go!    (toss bean bag from under leg)

“Pom-Pom Push”

Sit across a table from your partner. Spread out your arms on the table to make the boundaries for the game.
Have your partner blow through a straw to push the pom-pom to you.
Then trade role, using your own straw.
Take turns again and again.

(Adapted from Bailey, B. A. (2000). I love you rituals. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. pp. 199-200)

Try some of these connecting games, or use your own favorite connecting activities with your school-agers. You will be helping your children - and yourself - thrive! Have fun!

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<<Previous

​1. "State suggestions or directions in a positive form."​

2. "Give the child a choice only when you intend to leave the situation up to him."

3. "Use your voice as a teaching tool."

4. "Make health and safety of the children a primary concern."

5. "Use methods of guidance that build the child’s self-respect."

6. "Help a child set standards based on his/her own past performance, rather than on comparison with peers."

7. "Redirect the child in ways consistent with his purpose and interest."

8. "Time directions and suggestions for maximum effectiveness."

9. "Observe the individual ways children use art media, explore the materials yourself, but avoid making models for children to copy."

10. "Give the child the minimum of help in order that s/he may have the maximum chance to grow in independence."

11. "Make your directions effective by reinforcing them when necessary."

12. "Learn to foresee and prevent rather than “mop up” after difficulty."

13. "Clearly define and consistently maintain limits when they are necessary."

14. "Use the most strategic positions for supervising."

15. "Increase your own awareness by observing and taking notes."

References

Benefits of Physical Activity for Young Children

How much physical activity do children need?

Active Games from A to Z

References

​Guidance – What Does It Mean to You?

​Young Children Have a Lot to Learn!

​Young Children Need Lots of Guidance!

References

​Five Practices That Foster Language and Literacy Development for Infant and Toddlers

Resources

Theories of Language Development​

Language Development Milestones and How to Support Them

References

Communication

Cooperation

Problem-solving

Perspective-taking

The Importance of Relationships

Sources:

First, here's a little info about self-regulation:

Here are some examples of self-regulation skills that children learn over time:

And now, 11 Games that Develop Self-Regulation:

Author

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Categories

1. "State suggestions or directions in a positive form."

Guidance – What Does It Mean to You?

Young Children Have a Lot to Learn!

Young Children Need Lots of Guidance!

Five Practices That Foster Language and Literacy Development for Infant and Toddlers

Theories of Language Development