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How Playing with your Children Strengthens your Relationships – and Why That Is So Important

12/24/2020

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Playing with your children is good for their developing brains, even when we aren’t trying to teach them anything.  Research shows that close relationships with caring adults are the most important thing affecting children’s healthy brain development! ​​
Relationships actually shape the brain’s architecture, especially during the child’s early years.  They help form and strengthen the connections between brain cells that are crucial for healthy development and affect how the brain functions.  So, when you strengthen your relationships with your children, you are building the foundation for their learning, behavior and health – for their lifetimes. ​

The Importance of Relationships

Children who have a close, consistent relationship with at least one caring adult: 
  • are more resilient – able to overcome hardships
  • get along better with peers and have higher level social skills
  • tolerate frustration better and show less aggression, depression and anxiety
  • have improved attention, language and math skills
  • achieve more in school
  • have stronger self-regulation skills
One of the best ways to strengthen relationships is through play – and it’s fun, too!  Here are three ways to playfully strengthen your relationships with your children:
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1. Play connecting games with each of your children.
Connecting games are those you play just to focus on your relationship with your child.  You are playing a connecting game when: you feel loving toward your child, you are in close contact (using eye contact and touch when possible), and you are being playful.  These activities can be brief but are extremely powerful in strengthening the bond between you and your child, which is important for children of every age.
2. Dedicate a special time to play with each of your children individually.
Schedule about 15-20 minutes when you will play with your child one-on-one, allowing him or her to be in charge.  Keep rules to a bare minimum and don’t try to lead their play or teach them anything.  Just be emotionally present and give him or her your full attention.  (Yes, this means turning off your cellphone!)  Give this special playtime a name and commit to offer it consistently for each child, whether it is every day or every week.  You and the child will feel closer and you will get to know your child’s interests and abilities even better!
3. Interact in ways that support your relationship.
Use these relationship-building ways of interacting with your children throughout your day, when you are playing and any time you are together.  They not only strengthen your relationships with them, they also set the stage for more beneficial play times between you. 
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Focus on the same things.  This technique, called shared attention, helps you to respond to your children’s interests and helps your children develop their attention span.  
Watch for times when:
  • Your baby looks at you or an object
  • Your toddler points to something
  • Your preschooler asks you a “why” question
  • Your school-age child wants you to join in his or her activity
These times are opportunities to engage in “serve and return” interactions.  These brain-building back-and-forth interactions are like a game of tennis:  Your child “serves” by looking, pointing, or talking, then you return the serve by responding to the focus of their attention.  Take as many turns as you can, noticing serves, encouraging and talking about his or her interests, waiting for responses and realizing when they are ready to stop.  Serve and return interactions with shared attention are an extremely powerful way to build brains!
Develop rituals to foster closeness.  Rituals are consistent routines that you create with each child’s needs in mind.  They are designed to strengthen relationships and provide predictability and comfort to your children.  If you’ve developed a way of helping your children get ready for bed based on their needs and interests that is the same every night, you have a bedtime ritual.  Think of other times during your daily routine that you can build in rituals and get your children’s help in choosing activities to strengthen your relationship:  getting ready in the morning, saying hello and goodbye, during rides in the car or bus, or waiting.  Rituals build relationships and have the added benefit of helping make mundane routines more enjoyable times for all of you!
Think positive.  What you focus on is what you get!  To get the most brain-building benefit out of your interactions with your children, focus on what you want them to do, not what you don’t want.
When children are seeking your attention, they are really looking for relationship.  This is a basic human need we never outgrow; our brains are wired for connection with others.  When children are engaging in behaviors that “push our buttons”, try to think positive thoughts.  Take time to observe them and listen to them, notice the good things they do, and offer encouragement as often as you can.  When you think positive, your connection with your children will grow – and so will your joy in life!
Schedule down time.  Just like us, children need to have time when nothing is required of them.  This gives them a chance to rest, relax and learn to reflect on their experiences, which helps them to learn from them.  Be sure to schedule your own down time, too.  Then you will all be refreshed and better able to handle whatever comes your way
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Now that you know how important your relationships with your children are and have some playful ways to strengthen them, you are ready to have some fun. Enjoy growing closer with your children through play, and know you are building their brains and giving their learning, behavior and health a great start in life!

Sources:

Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (n.d.) Serve and return.  https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/serve-and-return/
Bailey, B. A. (2001).  Easy to love, difficult to discipline: The 7 basic skills for turning conflict into cooperation.  New York:  Harper-Collins Publishers Inc.
Head Start Early Childhood Learning & Knowledge Center Archive.​ (n.d.). The importance of teacher-child relationships in Head Start.  https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/archive/policy/im/acf-im-hs-08-21-attachment
Forrester, M. M. & Albrecht, K. M. (2014).  Social emotional tools for life:  An early childhood teacher’s guide to supporting strong emotional foundations and successful social relationships.  Houston:  Innovations in ECE Press
Sources of Connecting Games
Bailey, B. A. (2000).  I love you rituals.  New York:  HarperCollins Publishers, Inc
Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B.  (1993).  Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds.  Washington, DC:  NAEYC.
Pierce County Library (n.d.)  Wiggles, tickles & rhymes.  
​
https://www.piercecountylibrary.org/files/library/wigglesticklesall.pdf
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Adults Need Play, Too!

11/13/2020

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As adults who care for or teach children, we recognize the value of play for young children:  It is the most natural and effective way for them to learn about the world, themselves and others.  We may not realize that we adults need play, too.
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Play improves many aspects of our lives, such as creativity, mood, and stress relief.  It also helps us build and strengthen relationships and just have fun!  How can we promote play for ourselves and other adults?

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Think back to when you were a child.  What were your favorite ways to play?  Chances are you still enjoy a version of those things.  Try to bring them back into your life, and provide opportunities for the adults in your personal and professional lives to be playful as well.
​

According to Stuart Brown, there are eight different adult play personalities.  You may have one or two of these as your primary ways to play.  If you are in a leadership position, it's helpful to know the different styles of play so you can tap into what each person thinks is fun for teambuilding activities.  Here are the play personalities:
  1. The Joker - enjoys helping people laugh
  2. The Kinesthete - likes to move and be active
  3. The Explorer - prefers going to new places, learning new information, or searching for new feelings
  4. The Competitor - enjoys playing games to win
  5. The Director - enjoys planning and presiding over scenes and events
  6. The Collector  - plays by gathering an interesting collection of objects or experiences
  7. The Artist/Creator - finds joy in creating things or making thinks work
  8. The Storyteller - plays by using the imagination to create, act in, or enjoy stories 

Here are some teambuilding activities I've found for the different personality types.  Try one out at your next staff meeting or family gathering!  I've included ways to play that can be done virtually, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.
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Telling Jokes
Have an open mic icebreaker:  Open a meeting with some child-friendly jokes that adults may share with their children:
  • Q: What did 0 say to 8? 
    A: Nice belt!
  • Q: Where do you learn to make banana splits?
    A: At sundae school.
  • Q: What did one eye say to the other?
    A: Don’t look now, but something between us smells. (https://www.care.com/c/stories/3776/101-funny-jokes-for-kids/)
Moving
  • "Balloon Keep Up" (Torbet, 2005)
Have everyone blow up a balloon and form a circle.  The goal of this cooperative game is to keep the balloons from touching the floor.  You may choose to begin with one balloon then add more gradually, especially if you're playing this game with children.
  • "Virtual Dance Party"  
Play some upbeat music that gets people on their feet!
Competing
  • "Zip Zap Zop" (www.teampedia.net)  ​​
​​Stand in a circle. Someone begins by pointing to another person in the circle and saying "ZIP!" 
That person then points to yet another person and says "ZAP!“
That person points to another person and says "ZOP!" 
This continues, but the words must be said in order: ZIP, ZAP, ZOP. 
If someone makes a mistake and says a word out of order, that person is out of the game.
Virtual Game:  “Name, Place, Animal, Thing” (https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/g32098665/best-games-to-play-on-zoom/)  
​​​To play, pick a letter.  Each player lists a famous person's name, a place, an animal, and a thing that begins with that letter.  The first person to type them into the online chat wins.
​Directing
“Cat Got Your Tongue?” (from Leadership on the Go, FFA Organization)
​Without any talking, complete these tasks:
  • Line up by height
  • Organize yourselves by eye color
  • Line up by the length of your hair
  • Organize yourselves by the number of siblings in your family
  • Line up by the month you were born
  • Line up alphabetically by the street on which you live
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"Virtual Simon Says"
"Simon" gives instructions on actions to do, saying “Simon says” before some actions and not others.  Participants do only the actions “Simon says.”
If they do the action not preceded by “Simon says” they are "out."  When only one player remains that person wins.
Collecting
​"Human Treasure Hunt" (http://scavenger-hunt.org/25-human-scavenger-hunt-questions/)
​Go around the room and identify people who meet the criteria on the list: ​
  • Have you ever been in a helicopter?
  • Were you born overseas?
  • Do you have four or more siblings?
  • Is your birthday in June?
  • Have you been to the top of the Empire State Building?
  • Is your favorite color green?
  • Can you speak two or more languages fluently?
  • Have you ridden on a motorcycle?
  • Can you play the guitar?
  • Have you ever been stuck in an elevator?
Virtual "Show and/or Tell" (https://biz30.timedoctor.com/virtual-team-building/)
What do you collect?  Write it in the chat!  If you have a piece of your collection with you, show it, too!
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Exploring & Creating
"Object Play" ​
​Provide a set of art or play materials at the tables.  Encourage your team members to explore and create with the materials.
"Object Play" - Virtual Edition
Invite online meeting participants to explore and create with whatever materials they have within arm’s reach.  Encourage them to make a design, a tall stack or something else with them!
Storytelling
"Add-A-Word Stories" ​(adapted from: http://www.icebreakers.ws/small-group/connecting-stories.html)
  • The first player starts a story with one word or short phrase :  “Once I went…”
  • The next player adds a word or short phrase: “On a fabulous trip to…”
  • Players continue adding one to five words.  
  • Each person has the option to end the sentence and start another, but they sentences should be related.
  • Continue until all have contributed.
“Exciting Sponge” (https://museumhack.com/virtual-team-building-for-remote-teams/)
To play, each team member grabs a random object in arms length and creates a story about it.  You can default to describing a sponge.
The goal is to make up something amazing about the object.   The more absurd the better!

Be kind to yourself, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, and put more play in your day.  Laugh and be playful every chance you get - you'll be helping yourself and sharing joy with others.  Everyone  will benefit!
References:
Brown, S. (2009). Play: How it shapes the brain, opens the imagination and invigorates the soul. New York:  Penguin.
Frost, J., Wortham., S. & Reifel, S. (2011).  Play and child development (4th ed.,).  Upper Saddle River, NJ:  Pearson.
Magnuson, C. D., & Barnett, L. A. (2013). The playful advantage: How playfulness enhances coping with stress. Leisure Sciences, 35, (2), 129-144.
National FFA Organization. (2009).  Leadership on the go:  A library of activities for inside and outside the classroom.  www.siue.edu/SIPDC/PD/communication/LOG.FFA_Leadership. pdf.
Proyer, R. T. (2012). A Psycho-linguistic study on adult playfulness: Its hierarchical structure and theoretical considerations.  Journal of Adult Development, 19, (3), 141-149.
Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B.  (2005) Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Yu, P., Wu, J. J., Chen, I. H., and Lin, Y. T. (2007).  Is playfulness a benefit to work? Empirical evidence of professionals in Taiwan. International Journal of Technology Management, 39, (3-4), 412-429.

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Connecting Games that Build Self-Regulation

10/27/2020

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Would you like to build children's self-regulation skills while strengthening your relationship and having fun?  Check out these games!

First, here's a little info about self-regulation:

Self-regulation is a complex process that allows children to appropriately respond to their environment. In other words, it helps them manage their emotions, thoughts and behavior. 
It's an active, intentional process that:
  • Develops gradually
  • Includes physical, emotional, behavioral and cognitive (thinking) skills
  • Takes lots of practice and repeated learning opportunities
  • Requires intentional planning by the teacher

Here are some examples of self-regulation skills that children learn over time:

  • Taking turns
  • Following directions
  • Using words to communicate
  • Staying on task
  • Ignoring distractions
  • Inhibiting impulsivity
  • Planning one’s actions
  • Reflecting on one’s thinking
  • Cooperating with others
  • Demonstrating empathy
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And now, 11 Games that Develop Self-Regulation:

Most  of these games come from:  Tominey & McClelland (2011). Red light, purple light: Findings from a randomized trial using circle time games to improve behavioral self-regulation in preschool.  Early Education and Development, 22 (3). This research study shows that playing certain games helps children develop self-regulation skills. Try one of these or play any game that helps children stop and think, such as Simon Says. Just make it fun!
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Relaxation Games
  • Sinking Activity – Tell children to imagine that their bodies are very heavy and sinking to the floor, (guided relaxation)
  • Breathing Buddies – Children take deep breaths, lying on their backs with a stuffed animal on their bellies
  • “Eeping On” – Gently bounce a soft fidget toy on the child’s body
Refocusing Games
  • Clapping Exercise – Use a series of claps with a certain pattern
  • Conducting an Orchestra - Wave a conductor’s baton quickly or slowly and have children play instruments accordingly
  • Drum Beats – Give directions for children to move a certain way when you beat the drum
  • Elephant Stampede – Direct the children to mimic sounds of elephants close or far away
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Behavioral Regulation Games
  • Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders – Change up the parts to point to as you sing the song.  Have children point to one body part when you name another.
  • The Freeze Game – Children dance and freeze into position when the music stops
  • Mirror Game - Children take turns making different faces for a partner to imitate
  • Sleep, Sleep! – Direct children to pretend to sleep then wake up as different animals
Have fun playing, connecting, and building self-regulation skills!  
Let me know how it goes, and please share some games that work for your children.
Resources:
  • Florez, I. (2011). Developing young children’s self-regulation through everyday experiences. Young Children, 66 (4),46-51
  • Gillespie, L. G., & Seibel, N. (2006). Self-regulation: A cornerstone of early childhood development. Beyond the journal: Young Children on the web. Retrieved from http://journal.naeyc.org/btj/200607/Gillespie709BTJ.pdf
  • Rice, M. Understanding the importance of self-regulation for preschoolers.   http://www.ttacnews.vcu.edu/2012/02/
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Connecting Games to Play with School-age Children

9/28/2020

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Relationships between adults and children are incredibly important for children's development throughout childhood.  Close relationships help to build children's brains, setting the foundation for their lifelong learning, behavior and health.

Relationships are built over time, through responsive interactions between adult and child.  Every minute we spend building our relationships with children is time well-spent, whether it is in families or at school.

One way to build these important relationships is by playing "connecting games." 
 To play a connecting game, just include these 3 things:
  • Emotional warmth - your nurturing, compassionate presence
  • Close contact - eye contact and gentle touch
  • Playfulness - expressing joy and fun in being together
(adapted from Bailey, B.A.  2000.  I love you rituals.  New York:  HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.)
Here are a few of my favorite connecting games to play with school-age children.
​I hope you enjoy some of them!
Back Writing
Trace a word or phrase on a child's back and have them guess what you "wrote". 
​Use affirmations, encouragement and positive messages.
Balloon Keep Up  (Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B.  (1993) Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds.  Washington, DC:  NAEYC.  pp. 51-53)
Have lots of balloons, and children work together to keep the balloons from touching the floor.
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Special Handshake
Create a special handshake with each of your children, and use it every day to greet them.
Car and Driver  (Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B.  (1993) Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds.  Washington, DC:  NAEYC.  p. 71)
Stand behind a child with your hands on her shoulders. 
Direct the child to stop and start using only your hands. 
The child can take a turn “driving” with her hands on your waist.
​Hand Clapping Games
​
Partner with a child and make up a clapping pattern as you sing the songs.
A Sailor Went to Sea, Sea, Sea   (http://funclapping.com/)
A sailor went to sea, sea, sea
To see what he could see, see, see.
But all that he could see, see, see
Was the bottom of the deep blue sea, sea, sea.
​(On the last 3 words of each line, make a saluting motion.)

​
Repeat with chop, chop, chop (chopping motion on arm)
Knee, knee, knee (pat knees)
Then sea, chop, knee (Use all 3 motions)

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In a Cabin in the Woods   (traditional Boy Scout camp song)
In a cabin in the woods                          (draw a square in the air with your fingers)
A little man by the window stood        (make circles, like binoculars, with your hands and put up to your eyes)
Saw a rabbit hopping by                        (two fingers walking in front of you in the air)
Knocking at his door                              (do a knocking motion with one hand)
“Help me! Help me! Help!” he cried     (fling your hands in the air three times)
"Before the hunter finds me!"               (put hand over forehead as if shielding the sun while looking back and forth)
Little rabbit come inside                        (motion inviting someone to come to you)
Safely you may hide                                (rock your arms like you’re rocking a baby)
 
Keep repeating the song, doing the hand motions but humming instead of singing a line. So the second time you sing the song, you don’t say “In a cabin by the woods”, you just hum it and make the hand gesture. The third time, you leave out both 1st and 2nd lines (humming only) do just the hand gesture, sing the rest. You keep going until there are no words, just humming and gestures.  You can also speed up the tempo.
Plainsies, Clapsies  (Henry Goyette)
Say one line as you toss the bean bag to a child.   The child repeats it as he tosses it back to you. 
Plainsies,                                (Just throw)
Clapsies,                 (clap after throw)
Roll the ball,                            (roll hands as if wheels after throw)
Dilapsies.                (touch shoulders after throw)
Highsies,                 (toss bean bag high)
Lowsies,                  (toss bean bag low)
One hand,                               (toss bean bag one-handed)
The other hand.      (use the other hand)
Touch my knee,                      (touch knee after throw)
Touch my toe ,        (touch toe after throw)
Touch my heel,                       (touch heel after throw)
And under we go!    (toss bean bag from under leg)

“Pom-Pom Push”
  • Sit across a table from your partner.  Spread out your arms on the table to make the boundaries for the game.
  • Have your partner blow through a straw to push the pom-pom to you. 
  • Then trade role, using your own straw.
  • Take turns again and again.
(Adapted from Bailey, B. A. (2000).  I love you rituals.  New York:  HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. pp. 199-200) 
Try some of these connecting games, or use your own favorite connecting activities with your school-agers.  You will be helping your children - and yourself - thrive!  Have fun!
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Connecting Games to Play with Infants & Toddlers

9/10/2020

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Relationships between adults and children are incredibly important for children's development, especially in early childhood.  Close relationships help to build children's brains, setting the foundation for their lifelong learning, behavior and health.

Relationships are built over time, through "serve and return" interactions between adult and child.  Every minute we spend building our relationships with children is time well-spent, whether it is in families or at school.

One way to build these important relationships is by playing "connecting games." 
​
 To play a connecting game, just include these 3 things:
  • Emotional warmth - your nurturing, compassionate presence
  • Close contact - eye contact and gentle touch
  • Playfulness - expressing joy and fun in being together
(adapted from Bailey, B.A.  2000.  I love you rituals.  New York:  HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.)
Here are some of my favorite connecting games to play with infants and toddlers.
​I hope you enjoy some of them!

Bounces
(www.piercecountylibrary.org/files/library/wigglesticklesall.pdf)

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Bumpy Road
Smooth Road, Smooth Road.                                           (move child in circular motion)
Bumpy Road, Bumpy Road.                                              (bounce your child on your lap)
Rough Road, Rough Road.                                                (bounce higher and faster)
Hole.                                                                                     (dip child between your legs)
  
Did You Ever See a Baby
Did you ever see a baby,                                                   (have your child sitting on your lap)
A baby, a baby?
Did you ever see a baby,
Go this way and that?                                                       (rock from side to side)
Go this way and that way,                                                (forward and back)
And that way and this way.                                              (side to side)
Did you ever see a baby,
Go this way and that?                                                       (forward and back)
 
Giddy Up Horsey
Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up horsey.                          (bounce child on knees)
Giddy-up, giddy-up, go, go, go
Giddy-up, giddy-up, giddy-up horsey.
Giddy-up, giddy-up, Whoa!                                             (let child slip through knees)

I Bounce You Here
I bounce you here, I bounce you there,                         (bounce child on knees)
I bounce you, bounce you, everywhere.
I tickle you here, I tickle you there,                                (gently tickle child)
I tickle you, tickle you, everywhere.
I hug you here, I hug you there,                                      (hug child)
I hug you, hug you, everywhere!
 
Let’s Go Riding in an Elevator
Let’s go riding in an elevator.                                          (hold child in front of you on lap)
Let’s go riding in an elevator.
First floor,                                                                           (at “first floor” start to lift child up
Second floor,                                                                      rising up a little at each floor)
Third floor,
Fourth floor,
Fifth floor,                                                                           (by “fifth floor” child should be high)
Doooowwwwwnn!                                                           (bring child quickly back to lap)

Shoe the Little Horse
Shoe the little horse,                                                         (pat child’s left foot)
Shoe the little mare,                                                         (pat child’s right foot)
But let the little colt                                                          (bicycle child’s feet around and around)
Run free everywhere.

Fingerplays & Lovies
​(www.piercecountylibrary.org/files/library/wigglesticklesall.pdf)

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Elephant Song
One elephant went out to play,                                        (hold up one finger)
Over the hills and far away.                                              (wave finger like it is going over the hills)
She had such enormous fun,                                           (on “enormous” circle arms out and around)
That she called for another elephant to come.            (cup hands over mouth)
“Oh Elephant!”…                                                                  (call out and then pound the floor for the running                                                                                                      elephant sound)
 (Repeat with as many elephants (fingers) as you want)

Little Flea
Creeping, creeping, little flea,                                          (creep fingers up child’s body and down again)
Up my leg and past my knee.
To my tummy, on he goes,
Past my chin and to my nose.
Now he’s creeping down my chin,
To my tummy once again.
Down my leg and past my knee,
To my toe that little flea.
​GOTCHA!                                                                             (gently tickle baby’s tummy and switch to other foot)

One, Two, Three
One, two, three,                                                                   (tap on baby’s knee)
Tickle your knee.                                                                (gently tickle baby’s knee)
Four, five, six,                                                                      (tap on baby’s tummy)
Pick up sticks.                                                                     (gently tickle baby’s tummy)
Seven, eight, nine,                                                              (tap on baby’s chin)
You’re all mine!                                                                   (hug baby)

Round and Round the Garden 
Round and round the garden,                                          (make a circle in child’s palm)
Goes the teddy bear.
One step, two steps,                                                           (fingers walk up child’s arm)
Tickle you under there.                                                     (gently tickle child under arm)
Round and round the haystack,                                       (make a circle in child’s other hand)
Goes the little mouse.
One step, two steps,                                                           (fingers walk up child’s arm)
Into his little house.                                                           (gently tickle child under arm)\

Two Little Eyes
Two little eyes to look around.                                         (point to child’s features as mentioned)
Two little ears to hear each sound.
One little nose to smell what’s sweet.
One little mouth that likes to eat.


Movement Games ​
(adapted from: www.babycentre.co.uk/a554804/games-to-play-with-your-baby-under-12-months)

 Young children love to move!  Older infants roll, scoot and crawl; toddlers walk, run, jump and climb. Make up some connecting games to play with them while they are on the go.  Here are a couple of examples:
Catch Me if You Can!
Toddlers love to be chased.
The object: catch the child with a big bear hug and tickles
You can pretend to be different types of animals.

​
Come and Get me!
If your infant can crawl, spread some cushions and pillows on the floor. Stay at ground level and peep out from behind them, encouraging her to crawl over them. 
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Try some of these connecting games, or use your own favorite connecting activities with your infants and toddlers.  You will be helping your children - and yourself - thrive!  Have fun!
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Connecting Games to Play with Preschoolers

9/2/2020

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Relationships between adults and children are incredibly important for children's development, especially in early childhood.  Close relationships help to build children's brains, setting the foundation for their lifelong learning, behavior and health.

​Relationships are built over time, through "serve and return" interactions between adult and child.  
Every minute we spend building our relationships with children is time well-spent, whether it is in families or at school.
​
One way to build these important relationships is by playing "connecting games." ​
To play a connecting game, just include these 3 things:
  • Emotional warmth - your nurturing, compassionate presence
  • Close contact - eye contact and gentle touch
  • Playfulness - expressing joy and fun in being together​
Here a a few of my favorite connecting games to play with preschool children.
I hope you enjoy some of them!


Balloon Keep Up  (Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B.  (1993) Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds.  Washington, DC:  NAEYC.  pp. 51-53)
Have lots of balloons, and children work together to keep the balloons from touching the floor.

"Buddy Bob"
Make a simple puppet from a tennis ball by drawing a mouth and eyes with a permanent marker.  Cut the mouth so it opens when you squeeze the cheeks.  Have a conversation with the child while talking for Bob.
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Calvin Ball
Play a game of catch, using a bean bag or ball.  Let the child make up rules for how to toss the ball.
Car and Driver   (Torbert, M. & Schneider, L.B.  (1993) Follow me too: A handbook of movement activities for three- to five-year-olds.  Washington, DC:  NAEYC.p. 71)
Stand behind a child with your hands on her shoulders. 
Direct the child to stop and start using only your hands. 
The child can take a turn “driving” with her hands on your waist.

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​​Jack-in-the-Box
Jack-in-the-Box,
​Jack-in-the-Box
Sit so still
Will --- pop up?
Of course she will!
This connecting game started as a transition activity after circle time.  It was appealing to me as a teacher for several reasons: 
  • The children got really quiet in their "boxes" so I had their attention 
  • The transition was orderly because children moved a few at a time
  • I could add other learning goals to the game - For example, "Will the children wearing red pop up?"
I knew the activity also appealed to the children, because they requested it every day.  I began adding close contact and playfulness to add a connection component to the game.
Mirror, Mirror!
Take turns with a child copying each other’s moves and facial expressions.
Mr. Wiggle and Mr. Waggle  (For this story you need two thumbs.)
This is Mr. Wiggle.  He lives in a house. This is Mr. Waggle.  He lives in a house, too.  So open the doors (POP!), put them inside (POP!) and close the doors.
One day Mr. Wiggle decided to go visit Mr. Waggle.  So he opened the door (POP!), and came outside (POP!) and he went up the hill and down the hill and up the hill and down the hill and up the hill and down the hill until he came to Mr. Waggle’s house.
He knocked on the door, “knock! knock! knock!”  and called our softly, “Mr. Waggle!” but there was no answer so he knocked louder “knock! knock! knock!”  and called out loudly, “Mr. Waggle!” but there was still no answer.
So he went back up the hill and down the hill and up the hill and down the hill up the hill and down the hill until he was back at his own house. He opened the door (POP!) and went inside (POP!) and closed the door (POP!). 
Repeat with Mr. Waggle visiting Mr. Wiggle the next day. 
The next day, have them both leave at the same time.  They meet and greet at the top of the second hill then go to sleep when they get home.
(Source unknown)
​“Pom-Pom Push”   (adapted from Bailey, B.A.  2000.  I love you rituals.  New York:  HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.)
  • Sit across a table from your partner.  Spread out your arms on the table to make the boundaries for the game.
  • Have your partner blow through a straw to push the pom-pom to you. 
  • Then trade role, using your own straw.
  • Take turns again and again.
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You need 2 straws and 1 pom-pom for this game.
​Rhyme Time
Take turns saying short sentences that end in rhyming words, pausing to let the child say the word.
Special Handshake
Create a special handshake with each of your children, and use it every day to greet them.
Welcome Back Ritual
You’ve been gone and you’ve been missed.
Where would you like your butterfly kiss?
(adapted from www.consciousdiscipline.com)
Try some of these connecting games, or use your own favorite connecting activities with your preschoolers.  You will be helping your children - and yourself - thrive!  Have fun!
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    Author

    I'm Diane Goyette, a Child Development Specialist, Trainer, Consultant and Keynote Speaker.  I'm excited to introduce my blog! 
    ​Whether you are a child care provider or administrator, a teacher, a parent, or a helping professional who supports young children and families, I hope you get some helpful tips to make your job easier and more enjoyable! 

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